Infidelity is one of the hardest things to face in a relationship. If you find out that your girlfriend has cheated on you, the first thing you must do is take a deep breath and relax. Feelings of anger, hurt and betrayal are strong emotions that can blur your judgment. While some people prefer to end such a relationship at once, others might prefer to talk about it if they feel they genuinely love the other person and want to give their relationship another chance.

Depending on what you want to do, it is recommended to talk to your mate and find out what made them do this. Talking about it may help in getting a clearer view of what should be done next. If you think that you won’t be able to ever trust them then you should just break the ties or take some time apart from each other. It is still really important to get an understanding to exactly what happened and why they decided to cheat on you with someone else.

Cheating can come in different forms and levels of severity too. You might consider it cheating if you find out that your lover was kissing someone while they were intoxicated. This might be a pretty big deal to you but sort of an excusable incident. If you found out that your partner slept with someone else then that is obviously a much larger issue. What happens if you find out that your lover has been emailing or chatting with someone else online romantically? This is an instance where you need to find out what needs you are not fulfilling or what problems they are having in communicating these issues.

Trust your instincts in most cases but don’t accuse your partner that they are cheating unless you know 100% as this can cause a lot of dissension in your relationship and drive them away from you. Being overly protective can be just as bad as cheating. Nobody likes to be with a overly jealous person that is always wanting to know where you are and who you are with. Build up the trust in one another, keep communication lines open and you won’t have to worry about them cheating on you or looking else where for physical and emotional connections.

-Brian R.

On the other side of this is the issue of becoming to comfortable in your relationship that you don’t want or are not ready for any change. I have been caught in this trap before where I knew that our relationship wasn’t growing or going anywhere yet I chose to keep things going status quo and ended up having a good portion of my life flash before me before I woke up one day and called it off. I was too comfortable and didn’t want to rock the boat and it was just too convenient for me. A lot of this comes from being in a physical relationship where you don’t want to lose the comfort of sleeping with someone. The emotional side of me was really frustrated with the lack of communication and substance of our relationship but the physical side of me liked to have a sleeping and sex partner.

Share some of your complicated relationship issues and let’s explore if they are real problems or things that can be fixed to uncomplicate your relationship status.

There comes a time in every relationship where you start wondering if the person you are with is the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with. There are some very important questions that you need to ask yourself which include compatibility, children, money, addiction, sexual fulfillment, family and fidelity.

How compatible are you with each other really? Do you see eye to eye on most issues and share enough interests where you won’t be alienating each other with hobbies that don’t relate. You have to make sure you don’t have persistent problems that you can’t seem to fix and that continue to irritate you.

One big problem in a lot of relationships is the timing of when you want to have kids. I have had a bunch of friends that have had major break-ups over this issue. You need to make sure you are aligned with when you want to start having kids so you don’t have one person ready and the other in a different mind state.

Money causes us enough emotional stress as is and once you put a relationship in the middle it can get pretty crazy. One thing to realize in a relationship is that you are going to have to give and take and sometimes times may be rough financially but to stay focused and if you lose a job or don’t think you are making enough money to keep your partner and yourself satisfied that in the end money isn’t that important. Just make sure that you are not living above your means and that you save whenever you can for rainy days.

Everyone has vices of some sort whether it be coffee, smoking or drinking but the important thing here is to make sure that they don’t consume you and that you are balanced with any addictions you might have. I love caffeine and sweets but I try to minimize my intake just because I know it isn’t healthy for me. If you have a partner that is addicted to some sort of drug and you are not comfortable with their use then you should seriously consider getting out of that relationship because once you take it to the next level things will only escalate more. If you are a non-smoker and your partner is a smoker and you want them to quit then you should work this out with them immediately if it really is a big issue for you. If you don’t mind then don’t bring it up and make them feel lower then you because they make this lifestyle decision. It can and will cause dissent in your relationship.

Sex is a much larger issue then most couples realize. Are you always the one wanting more attention and sex? If that is the case then you need to make your partner aware that you aren’t receiving the amount of love and affection and see if it is just that they are currently too busy with work and life or if they have a much lower sexual drive then you. You would be surprised to see that women actually crave sex just as much as men do but might not make it so apparent. Be sure to communicate your feelings so you don’t always feel like you are getting turned down when you want intimacy.

Some couples ignore or overlook the importance of having positive relations with your family and vice versa. Family is the ones that’ll be there when you get into arguments or break ups. They usually have a large effect on your actions since they know your personality the best and what is good for you when your thoughts might be clouded emotionally. If you plan on having kids then they are a great outlet for help in many various ways.

Fidelity is the big relationship breaker unfortunately. When you get hitched you are making a commitment to that person to be loyal, truthful and faithful to them. If you ever have thoughts of infidelity then you should either confront those feelings with a friend before you make the bad decision to act on them. If something your mate has done is making you feel this way then you need to get that issue sorted out quickly before you throw away everything you have built in your relationship. Cheating never ends with a good story. It’s that plain and simple.

-Brian R.

Ending the Relationship

A relationship can be successful when both individuals involved are happy and satisfied with the way things are going. If you are sure that you do not want to continue and want out, prepare yourself to break the news to your partner. This is not going to be easy for the other person no matter how convinced you are that it is entirely their fault.

• Meet in person: Do not discuss this over the phone / email or chat. Instead, meet them personally to talk about how you feel.
• Be calm: Make sure that you are calm and composed while talking about a break-up.
• Do not blame the other person entirely: Share the responsibility when you tell them why you feel that relationship is not working.

Also, make sure that your talk does not end abruptly or on a harsh note. It is always better to maintain friendships after breakups as you most likely will see each other again socially or might even get back together on different terms. Sometimes that timing is just not right and your priorities might not be in sync with your partner. No one is really to blame in this case. Being open and honest about the situation is a good thing and you’ll usually see it reciprocated.

If you have just broken up and ended a relationship with someone then take a little time to analyze what went wrong so that you don’t just go out on a rebound and get into the same mess again. This is probably one of the biggest relationship blunders: The Rebound. Everyone needs a little time for healing even if the relationship wasn’t a long or intense one. You might think that you are ready to be back in the relationship game but you need to also factor in or consider whether your ex has gotten over you so that you don’t hurt someone elses feelings because of your own selfessness.

-Brian R.

I Love Me

Satisfaction in a relationship can take several forms – physical, emotional and mental. As a relationship matures, companionship becomes important as well. Whether it is a husband-wife relationship or that of a boyfriend-girlfriend, for it to be successful, both partners must be receptive to each others’ needs and desires. If you want to keep your partner satisfied, start by being there for him/her while understanding just when they might need some personal space as well. Share your partner’s interests and be there to listen when he/she needs a good listener. Surprise your partner once in a while by sending a bouquet of fresh roses, planning a weekend away or simply cooking a nice meal.

We can all get caught up in the rat race sometimes and when you get home from work it is easy to tune out and just shut down. Try to leave your work problems at work so you can come home with an open mind. If you or your spouse are at home taking care of the children then keep in mind that as much as you just want to just pass them off to them when they get home that they need a little time to adjust back to home life and this could be the cause of unneeded stress at home. If you have family that lives close by and that can watch your children then be sure to reach out to them to give your and your loved one a little personal space. Hire a sitter if they are old enough and plan out date nights. Everyone needs a break from the daily routines that we are engulfed in. Make sure you make these plans and cherish that time spend alone together.

We all have different expectations with our physical needs. Make sure that you and your partner talk about these needs so you have a mutual understanding. It is always nice to have a balance with your partners sexual needs so that you or your partner doesn’t become frustrated. You don’t necessarily want to plan out and calendar your ‘love-making’ but you should have a general understanding of whether you are not spending enough intimate time with each other.

-Brian R.

A lot of married couples and those dating each other find it hard to keep the fire alive in their relationship. Here are some simple tips for keeping your relationship fresh:

• Be unpredictable from time to time – Make a hotel reservation and ask your spouse to join you for a overnight stay and romantic dinner.
• If you are facing a difficult phase in your relationship, remind yourself and your spouse what brought you two together in the first place.
• Surprise your girlfriend by sending her a beautiful bouquet of red roses and not just for holiday’s like Valentine’s Day or her birthday.
• Go for a romantic walk in a local park, beach or lake if you live close to one.
• Take up common hobbies & indulge in adventure activities together such as water skiing, rock climbing or sky diving.
• Whisk him/her away on a cozy picnic or a short holiday trip.
• Ask them where their dream vacation would be, get the time off from work and plan the vacation and include them in the details of the trip.
• Go on a romantic cruise. There are many cruise liner companies that specialize in various types of cruises for couples. This can be a nice trip to spend one on one time with each other in a nice relaxing environment.

If you have any other fun ideas that you have done that really surprised your loved one and helped put the fire back in your romance then post them here.

Gay couples around the globe have been fighting for equal civil rights under law as domestic partners and for the legalization of gay marriages. This has been a hotly contested topic in many states and elections and was also a question to both Obama and McCain to take a position on the topic. Both have taken the position of opposing outright marriage but supporting civil unions. Religious organizations and Republican politicians have usually taken a strong stance against gay marriages. Obama said he believes that same-sex couples should have the rights and privileges as married couples, but that the relationship should be called a civil union rather than a marriage.

In the US, same sex marriages were not considered legal for a long time. However, recently things have changed. Thanks to a court ruling, same-sex couples now have a constitutional right to marry. This news has been taken as a positive step towards giving equal rights to individuals in the US. Currently, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Jersey, and California are the states that have legalized gay marriages.

On May 17, 2004 Massachusetts became the first U.S. state to legalize gay marriages. The State of Massachusetts has also become so progressive on the topic that it issues licenses to gay couples from Rhode Island and New Mexico since neither state explicitly prohibits same-sex marriage.

In a 4-3 decision, Connecticut’s Supreme Court overturned the state’s ban on same-sex marriage.

New Jersey is the third U.S. state to offer same-sex civil unions behind Vermont and Connecticut. The new same-sex civil unions law, which went into affect on February 19, 2007, granted gay and lesbian couples the same rights as marriage. Although same-sex unions in New Jersey are classified as civil unions, couples are granted the same rights as married heterosexual couples.

On May 15th, 2008, California’s Supreme Court ruled that banning same-sex marriage in the state was discriminatory. In a 4-3 decision, the justices ruled that people have a fundamental ‘right to marry’ the person of their choice and that gender restrictions violated the California’s state Constitution equal protection guarantee.

On May 29, 2008, New York issued a directive that only recognizes gay marriages from couples legally married outside of the state.

No matter where you stance is on the topic of gay relationships you should agree that gay couples should have all of the same legal rights as heterosexual couples. It is not unusual for companies to have programs with health care benefits to the partners of heterosexual employees. Some are now extending them to the partners of their homosexual employees as well. This is definitely a growing indicator of the growing social acceptance of homosexual relationships being equivalent to heterosexual marriages.

In August of 2000, the automakers Daimler-Chrysler, Ford Motor Company and General Motors announced that they would extend health care benefits to gay couples.

Other large companies which now provide domestic-partner benefits are: AT&T, American Express, American Airlines, Amoco, Avon, Barnes & Noble, Boeing, Citigroup, Chevron Oil, Clorox, Coca-Cola, Coors Brewing, Disney, Eastman Kodak, Gap, General Mills, Hewlett Packard, IBM, Levi Strauss, Mattel, Microsoft, Nike, Nynex, Pacific Telesis, Pillsbury, Proctor and Gamble, Quark, Reebok, Shell, Starbucks Coffee, Sun Microsystems, Time Warner, United Airlines, US Airways, US West, and Xerox.

What do you think about the topic of gay marriage and whether gay couples should be allowed domestic partner benefits?

An important thing to keep in mind if you and your mate decide on taking some time apart from each other is not to be depressed about the situation but to take the time to reflect on the relationship. You can keep your mind busy by reconnecting with your friends that you might not have been spending much time with as you were engulfed in your relationship. Relationships can be confusing at times and sometimes as much as you try to make them work they just don’t or won’t.

If you were the one wanting the space make sure you communicate the issues that are bothering you about your mate and if you are the one that was “suffocating” the relationship then try to take a step back and allow your partner to clear their head. Don’t go the complete opposite direction but just let your partner know that you are there for them when they are ready to re-engage. It will be important to keep the communication lines open and to not alienate each other and when the time is right you’ll both be in a much happier and healthier place.

-Brian

Jealousy has happened to the best of us at one point in our lives. Hopefully you learn the lesson and didn’t let it become a personality trait that you carried over to your next relationship or infatuation. There is nothing more harmful to a friendship or relationship than a jealous person. Jealously brings out some dark and unattractive characteristics in people. You might think that you are just being concerned or communicating to your lover but there is a limitation to how much communication and understanding why you are curious about where your lover is and what time they are coming home and who they are hanging out with.

Here are a few good tips to keep you out of the “Jealousy Trap”:

• Give each other space to have friends of the same sex or opposite.
• Have trust even if you have been in relationships where your lover cheated on you. Don’t blame someone else’s relationship ignorance on your current lover.
• DO NOT ever go through his/her personal belongings including receipts, phone logs, text messages, emails, etc. This is a relationship killer. If you don’t have the trust in your mate then you probably shouldn’t even be in the relationship in the first place.
• Don’t send numerous text messages or phone calls if your lover isn’t picking up or answering calls. They could be busy or out of range. This just makes you look crazy and the person on the receiving end of this type of activity will usually not find this attractive.
• If you are in a new relationship and super excited about it, be sure to keep a level head so that you don’t crowd the person out and look too pushy to get settled down. Enjoy yourself and take the time to learn more about each other over time and not in one month.

Being suspicious about your lover will only lead to the end of that relationship. Nobody likes to have someone snooping around in their personal business. If you have a strong suspicion that something is going then be sure to communicate the issue without being confrontational just in case there is a misunderstanding and no truth in it. If you catch your lover in a blatant lie then just bring it to light and let them know that you don’t want them to ever lie again to you. Let it go if it is not too big and if it happens again then you can just break the relationship. I often see couples that get caught up in the ‘tit for tat’ battles and they start dwelling on old issues over and over again just to gain an edge in the relationship. This isn’t healthy and if you are always looking to score points in these kind of battles then you are probably not in a good place with yourself and your relationship.

Arguments and small fights are common but just try to make sure it doesn’t turn into a blame game battle. One of the most important traits I have learned that are important for females is that must have their own set of friends outside of the relationship so that you aren’t their lover and best friend but that they still have a support group of friends to talk to in helping them resolve issues they might have.

Good luck and don’t be a “Bugaboo” boyfriend or girlfriend. It is an ugly thing.

-Brian R.

Do a search using this box below and you’ll be suprised to see how accurate the results are. You can register if you haven’t already for free but you have to pay a membership to contact old friends and lost loves. Good luck with your search and let us know if you make an old connection from the info in this article.

Got any other great people search resources? Post them below.

• Have you ever lived with a member of the opposite sex before?

Living together could be totally shocking if you have never lived with a member of the opposite sex before!

• Are you willing to make some adjustments?

As with all roommates, it is important to be flexible.

• Do you have problems in your relationship you think would be fixed by living together?

If you think living together will bring you closer, you are right…it will amplify every aspect of your relationship…the good, the bad, as well as the ugly.

• Have you had thoughts of marrying this person?

If you can honestly say you have considered spending the rest of your life with this person, it could be a really good sign you two are ready to cohabitate.

• Are you thinking about living together solely for economic reasons?

It may be cheaper to live together, but is that worth giving up most of your personal space?

• Do you two having schedules that would conflict or flow easily?

Cross check your schedules…sharing a bathroom at 7 am while trying to get ready for work is not quite part of the Cinderella story, now is it?

• Do either of you have children?

Ok, this is a BIG ONE. I’ll say it again…BIG ONE…proceed with caution if either on of you have kids. Children are very impressionable and need to feel secure in their environment. Think extra hard before merging family households before marriage/life partnership…whatever.

• Have you ever lived on your own?

If you find yourself wanting to move in with your boyfriend/girlfriend because you are afraid to live on your own…hold off. It is important to feel confident in your ability to support yourself or you may find yourself in a relationship for the wrong reason.

• Who is going to cook, clean, do the laundry, and the dishes?

The correct response is…BOTH of you! Just be sure to talk about this before it becomes an issue.

So there you go, take the time and mull over these questions together. By taking the above into consideration, you can get closer to making the right decision about when to live together. Good luck and happy shacking.

By A. Lansing

1. Quality over Quantity – Some dating services will tell you that they have over 11 million singles to choose from and this means nothing in the end. The most important factors that you should think about are how many people in their databases are active and from the age and area of your interest. I usually recommend that you write your personal ad ahead of time and to join a handful of the top tier sites and use their services and search tools to find the one that you are most comfortable with before you commit to a paid membership.

2. Casual Dating vs. Serious Relationships – In the past 5 years there has been a clear distinction between casual online dating services where you post your own personal ad and get matches based on age and location preferences versus serious relationship services where the focus is mostly on scientific matching or personality test matching. You will typically pay a little more for a monthly membership on a serious relationship website since the technology powering these types of services are more demanding and they usually have personalized services and relationship advice to go along with them.

3. Age Demographics – This is a factor that is often overlooked but that plays a major role in the consideration set when selecting a dating service to become a member of. Look around when you are surfing online and visiting various websites and when you see an advertisement for a dating site look at the website that you see them advertising on and that is usually a good indicator as to what type of audience they are attracting. With the introduction of popular social networking websites like myspace and friendster in the past few years, many of the younger online daters have migrated to those online communities. There are a few websites that focus on the seniors market and everyone else usually falls between that on mainstream dating services.

4. Religious Preferences – Dating sites that focus on a particular religious belief or religon have become popular among the Jewish, Indian, Catholic/Christian, and Muslim communities. These communities are the walled gardens of online dating where they have focused in on one particular religon and cater to the single people that want to meet other singles that share their religious beliefs.

5. Sexual Preferences – While mainstream dating services also cater to the gay, lesbian and bisexual communities, there are a few quality gay dating websites that are very focused on this market segment.

6. Ethnic Dating – This is an interesting market segment that is mostly focused on African American dating, Asian dating, and Hispanic dating. A new niche is also gaining popularity which is interracial dating services.

7. Paid vs. Free Dating Sites – You get what you pay for is usually the case with free dating services although there are a few that have equivalent features as paid membership based dating sites. I have found that typically free dating services attract a lower quality of users and tons of escorts and adult listings. The paid services are very careful to weed out spammers and fraudulent profiles. Free dating services are usually run by a small shop with limited customer service resources to filter bad listings and inactive profiles.

While there are hundreds of dating sites online to choose from, here are my top dating site picks:

1. Personals.com – (editors pick) It is powered by Match.com and offers a 3-day free trial offer.

2. Yahoo! Personals – Yahoo has been operating personals on their portal for over 10+ years and have a great reputation and technology.

3. Perfectmatch.com – Perfect Match focuses on singles looking for serious relationships and has an excellent personality profile matching technology.

4. True.com – They go after a younger demographic and claim to not have married people on their site by doing public record background checking.

5. Jdate.com – This is hands down the best service for Jewish singles and is owned and operated by Matchnet which operates the AmericanSingles.com service.

6. Friendfinder.com – Friendfinder has an entire network of dating services catered to different interests like AsiaFriendfinder.com, and others.

7. Chemistry.com – Owned and operated by Interactive Corp., Chemistry uses the scientific method to find your soulmate online.

Good luck with your online adventure and be sure to check back to get notified of other special dating offers and websites.

1. Getting too attached
Have you ever had one of those friends who after a week or two, no, a day or two of dating someone decides this person is absolutely 100% THE ONE for them? Well, I know people like that and they are both men and women. I myself have had this problem and encourage anyone wanting a relationship not to step into the trap of attaching to someone too much and too quickly; which leads us to the next pitfall…

2. Expecting happiness to come from another person
One reason we immediately attach ourselves to somebody is due to the quest for happiness. When we think happiness resides outside of ourselves, we are prone to seek it from things such as a job, a car, a career, a house, and… oh… yes… another person! In reality, at every moment, we have the ability to CHOOSE to be happy or not to be happy. Now get this… if you choose to be happy BEFORE you have a “perfect relationship” you will create a “happy” relationship? In other words, you attract that which you are, and what you project into the world. Problem solved.

3. Trying to control your partner
This is a big one. I wish it could be as simple as saying “Don’t do it,” however when someone wants to control another person, usually it is due to a huge lack on their part. This could be a lack of feeling secure, a lack of feeling loved, or feelings of inadequacy. When we feel we are lacking, we hold on tighter to what we think validates us, for example our partner, and try to control every aspect of them. So then, the way to end this behavior it to fix the negative beliefs and feelings that would lead us to act in this way. Easier said than done, however, quite doable.

4. Blaming the other person
Ok, so he forgot to put the garbage out and now it will pile up for ANOTHER week, and yes, she took an hour and a half to do her makeup which caused you to be late to a friend’s dinner party… SO WHAT. In the grand scheme of things, none of this matters, and the situation will not be helped by blaming the other person. In fact, blame just gives the problem more attention and fuels it to become a bigger deal than it really is. If an incident occurs on a regular basis, it may need to be addressed; no one can live with weeks of garbage sitting around, but otherwise do not give away your precious energy to something so trivial.

5. Forgetting to be grateful
I personally believe that when we are grateful we have everything. There is something called the Law of Attraction. Essentially it says what we put our attention is what we get. So, if we are grateful, we get more of that in our lives, whether it is health, money, or love. Alternately, if we put our attention on the aspects of our relationships we do not like, we get more of the same. So be grateful for what you do have and that is exactly what you will receive.

Article by A. Lansing

2. He shows you how much you mean to him…
Sure he can say it, but if he doesn’t SHOW you just how much he cares about you, then what he says means close to nothing. I know you’ve heard it before, but actions speak louder than words.

3. He tries to meet your needs…
Do you have a burning desire for cotton candy ice cream at 3 in the morning? Ok, he doesn’t need to meet THAT need, however give your man bonus points if he makes it happen. The kind of needs I am talking about are the little things that make you feel secure and happy. Whether it’s a daily phone call or some alone time, if you both try to accommodate one another’s requests it’s a sure sign things will work out.

4. He tries to see your side of things…
He really may NOT understand why you need to have the same conversation multiple times, or buy the $400 pair of turquoise pumps, but if he puts his best effort into TRYING to understand, then he truly cares about you.

5. He considers your opinion…
A sign that your man is “the one” is if he asks for and values your opinion on things. When your guy asks for your opinion on anything from what entree to order, to what stocks to buy, you know he holds your input in high regard. Making key decisions together builds a solid foundation for you relationship.

6. He is proud of you…
Does he constantly brag about you to his friends and family? Most likely he is not trying to boast; he is just really happy for you and wants to celebrate your success. Soak up it up and be sure to recognize his accomplishments as well.

7. He protects you…
This is a fine line, because the last thing that works in a relationship is one of the parties being overbearing and controlling; however it is important that your man steps up and watches out for your well-being.

8. He smiles when he is with you…
Don’t they say laughter is the best medicine? Well, it is also a key indicator that your partner will be around for the long run. Many people rely on humor in life to get them through the hard times. It is indicative that you two “vibe” well, besides don’t you want to have FUN with your life partner?

9. He wants to support you and your goals…
This is a toughie, but you know you have a “keeper” when your significant other is genuinely interested in helping you attain your goals. Why is this so tricky for people? Because often insecurities we have surface when out partner is successful and many fear being “dumped.” If your man is grown up enough to want you to be successful, then he is confident and secure in your relationship, and will be more likely to be there in the long haul.

10. He is willing to meet you half way…
So you want to paint the walls “sand dune” and he wants “red dragon,” compromise is the only way you both will be able to feel satisfied when your opinions differ. This is huge, because most people want it their way, on their time. If you and your man have mastered this balancing act, then a life together is a more realistic.

Laugh out loud…
Worried that you will experience moments of “awkward silence” that too often plague a promising first date? Try a comedy club or dinner theater. You and your date will have time to chat before watching a show that will keep you entertained through the night. Laughter is always a great ice breaker!

Rediscover your city…
Most cities have shops that rent out scooters, rollerblades, or bicycles. Touring your city using one of these modes of transportation allows you and your date get to know each other while seeing your city in a different way.

Be a kid again…
Explore your inner child and take your date miniature golfing, bowling, or to an amusement park. These activities are a fun way to spend an afternoon and put a lot less pressure on you and your date.

Get out for lunch…
A lunch date is a good idea for blind dates or online daters. It is great for an initial meeting lunch has a time constraint and if you have never met the person before this could be a very good thing!

Learn a thing or two…
Indulge your senses and take a wine tour or cooking class together. What else is as romantic as getting your hands dirty and rolling out a big hunk of pizza dough? If all goes well, continue the evening with the bottle of wine you bought or the entree you created, and be sure to save room for dessert!

Take it outdoors…
If you are looking to do something more active on your first date, hiking or kayaking, can be very romantic…weather permitting that is! Doing an outdoor activity on a first date is a great way to bond and get those feel-good endorphins kicking.

After going through the test, your results will be scientifically analyzed and will yield matches that are specific to those results. Chemistry.com uses human attraction research provided by their Chief Scientific Advisor, Dr. Helen Fisher. Dr. Helen is a world-renowned biological anthropologist who uses her expertise to come up with the perfect match for what each user wants out of a relationship. Chemistry.com will send each member 5 matches a day based on what creates a powerful attraction.

The next step is the fun part! After reviewing your Chemistry.com matches, the Guided Communications Process helps you determine whether to get to know more about a person or to move on to the next possible love match. No need to waist time on a dead end lead! This is Chemistry.com’s 1-2-3 meet system and ensures a quick way to learn about a potential partner and prepare you to meet them in person.

Ready to move forward and meet the person Chemistry.com matched you with? Meet up for a date and if it works out, continue dating, is the date fizzles, no problem. Chemistry.com follows up on each match and the system actually learns from your results.

An alternative to Chemistry.com is Match.com. This site is one of the original dating sites and is currently the largest one out there. With over 15 million members, Match.com has a proven track record. The site allows users to create an online profile to attract potential dates. One of the key features of Match.com is the ability to use a keyword search and avoid having to search through multiple pages of people in your age range and area.

Match.com puts you in the driver’s seat and allows a number of ways for you to individualize your profile and attract your potential mate. You are able to create a distinct profile where you can write everything that is important for someone to know about you, including what you are looking for in a date. Aside from the ability to search for other members, you will also have access to many tips for dating and ways to play it safe in the game of online love.

Whether you choose the scientific pairings of Chemistry.com or the unlimited freedom to search for your love at Match.com, you will be in good hands. Good luck on the road to finding your mate! It may seem daunting, but with the help of these two sites, you will be headed in the right direction!

Get a Free 3-Day Trial Membership at Match.com. Take the personality test at Chemistry.com Today.

As the women see it…

Recent polls show nearly 1/3 of women ages 40-69 are dating men at least ten years younger than they are. These days women have more options in everything from careers to, yes, men and why would they settle for anything less than what they want? Reasons for this new trend are numerous, but some of the obvious are as follows:

• Women are looking better and better in their later years and are feeling attractive longer.
• Women who have put off a family while pursuing a career are single and available.
• Women who have been recently divorced or widowed find themselves wanting to date again
• Women are ignoring social taboos and deciding what they want for themselves, for whatever reasons they want it.
• Some women are just plain attracted to younger men and want to have fun

As the men see it…

Of course there are many young men who in their college years do nothing but party and drink… and… party and drink, however what society has failed to recognize is that there are those young gentlemen who are more emotionally secure and mature than one would think. These men are the ones, who for various reasons are interested in dating older women. Here are some pluses they see in being with more mature women:

• Women with character and life experiences are more interesting.
• Older women are more experienced in the ways of love and often are more comfortable with who they are.
• Older women tend to be more financially secure and can afford to pay their portion of the dinner/rent/utility/etc. bill.
• Women who have had more years to get to know themselves are more emotionally secure and are not as high maintenance as their younger counterparts.
• Some men are just plain attracted to older women and are not ashamed to say so.
• When its love, its love. As one young man at my office put it, “Women come in all ages, shapes, and sizes.”

So there you go, there is no “Perfect Combination” but there are many numerous dating situations foster love and if dating an older woman/younger man is what works for you, go for it! Log on to match.com or chemisrty.com and find that perfect someone!