I joined PlentyofFish.com because, to be perfectly honest, I’ve had my nose to the academic grind for the past six years, and am now, post-graduation, finally getting back into the swing of social life. I thought PlentyofFish.com, and internet dating in general, might provide a fun and easy way to meet new singles, and make, at the least, some new friends. This is what I observed.

In general, profiles were poorly constructed; most users in my age range (20-29) wrote an average of one paragraph (5-7 sentences) of self-description, and said descriptions were generally riddled with unattractive grammar errors (e.g., “hi my name is ____ i like too party and chil with my friends sound good? plz write”).

Of the few extended, more well-written profiles, most were arguably narcissistic, and subsequently as unappealing. In general, extended content offered insight only into users’ opinions of themselves (as opposed to specific likes, dislikes, experiences, etc.); proper grammar correlated with verbosity. Curiously, these profiles were generally accompanied by a primary photo in which the user was not smiling.

Regarding content, most profiles were strikingly similar, although this is likely a consequence of their general brevity. Most common likes included “going out,” and “having fun.” Most users expressed partiality to activities involving alcohol consumption. Most users were unsure of their reason for joining the site.

Younger users (30) were more likely to present a multidimensional self-characterization.

Many users, male and female, plainly state “no creepers,” etc. Many female users report receiving multitudes of sexually explicit and otherwise upsetting messages from male users, including photos of genitals and requests for sex. After numerous conversations with users, I can say with some confidence that male users with appropriate intentions may be greatly outnumbered by male users with inappropriate intentions.

In general, approximately 50-75% of users of both sexes appeared noticeably unhealthy. Female users most often presented photographs taken from a peculiar angle in which the user looks demurely up toward the camera held by the user above herself at arms length. The user’s forehead and eyes appear greatly enlarged. The resultant photo resembles a space alien or toddler. Male users seem to think a picture is a picture; a photo of their nostrils’ interior might as well “do the trick.”

The reviewer is pleased to note that s/he spoke with at least two superlative users over 30; however, the reviewer is 24, and does not feel inclined to date users older than 30.

Overall, with respect to users under 30, the site appears to be loaded with half-assed, often unappealing profiles written by individuals who a). would, honestly, rather be meeting people the old-fashioned way, b). seek mass adulation, and/or c). are already profoundly skeptical of online dating, none of which is conducive to establishing a single, worthwhile relationship via online dating. Thus, I cancelled my profile, and am now pursuing more traditional, actively social means of meeting friends and potential dates.

In conclusion, based on the sample observed, the reviewer cannot recommend PlentyofFish.com for users under 30 who seek serious relationships. The reviewer might suggest that young singles continue to do what they have always done: get off the computer, volunteer, go to a church, go dancing, build a network of like-minded people who will introduce you to other like-minded people, and meet Mr./Miss Right face-to-face, in a context that you will both remember with fondness.