I love when you see a friends FB update and it says “Relationship Status: It’s Complicated” then a bunch of people tell them that they are sorry and offer emotional support. Then you also get a few guys hovering above getting ready to come down on the kill that will say “Let me know if you need to talk to anyone”. Relationships don’t always have to be so complicated. They don’t need to be so all of nothing. That is when I think things start to fall apart. You’ll have one person in the relationship that is really bothered by something that the other person does or doesn’t do and they make a big deal out of it and create a ‘deal breaker’ scenario. Then they end up breaking up with the person because of this issue and then find themselves single and lonely again. We all have our imperfections and I know one of mine is that it is hard for me to be on time whether it is for a meeting, date or to send out a card or buy a gift. I inherited this from my father sometime during my childhood and have been hard at work trying to undo this personality trait but thank God my partner understands this and doesn’t freak out on me when I forget something that I know is super important to her. I just accept the fault and apologize and try not to make any excuses but to let her know that I’ll make a better effort next time and that I know she is frustrated with me. Think about some of the things that bother you about your current relationship or a past one? Was it anything that you could have dealt with or was it a real ‘deal breaker’? I bet you wish on some things that you would have taken the time to work those issues out.
On the other side of this is the issue of becoming to comfortable in your relationship that you don’t want or are not ready for any change. I have been caught in this trap before where I knew that our relationship wasn’t growing or going anywhere yet I chose to keep things going status quo and ended up having a good portion of my life flash before me before I woke up one day and called it off. I was too comfortable and didn’t want to rock the boat and it was just too convenient for me. A lot of this comes from being in a physical relationship where you don’t want to lose the comfort of sleeping with someone. The emotional side of me was really frustrated with the lack of communication and substance of our relationship but the physical side of me liked to have a sleeping and sex partner.
Share some of your complicated relationship issues and let’s explore if they are real problems or things that can be fixed to uncomplicate your relationship status.