Infidelity is one of the hardest things to face in a relationship. If you find out that your girlfriend has cheated on you, the first thing you must do is take a deep breath and relax. Feelings of anger, hurt and betrayal are strong emotions that can blur your judgment. While some people prefer to end such a relationship at once, others might prefer to talk about it if they feel they genuinely love the other person and want to give their relationship another chance.
Depending on what you want to do, it is recommended to talk to your mate and find out what made them do this. Talking about it may help in getting a clearer view of what should be done next. If you think that you won’t be able to ever trust them then you should just break the ties or take some time apart from each other. It is still really important to get an understanding to exactly what happened and why they decided to cheat on you with someone else.
Cheating can come in different forms and levels of severity too. You might consider it cheating if you find out that your lover was kissing someone while they were intoxicated. This might be a pretty big deal to you but sort of an excusable incident. If you found out that your partner slept with someone else then that is obviously a much larger issue. What happens if you find out that your lover has been emailing or chatting with someone else online romantically? This is an instance where you need to find out what needs you are not fulfilling or what problems they are having in communicating these issues.
Trust your instincts in most cases but don’t accuse your partner that they are cheating unless you know 100% as this can cause a lot of dissension in your relationship and drive them away from you. Being overly protective can be just as bad as cheating. Nobody likes to be with a overly jealous person that is always wanting to know where you are and who you are with. Build up the trust in one another, keep communication lines open and you won’t have to worry about them cheating on you or looking else where for physical and emotional connections.
-Brian R.
No related posts.
169 responses so far ↓
1 isaac // Dec 14, 2008 at 11:49 AM
Dear Sirs,
I’m only 12 and I just got told that my girlfriend kissed someone else while playing a game of dares and I just feel exposed and betrayed and I don’t know what to do. I know it was a dare and I’m sure she didn’t mean it but he was older and that just leaves me worried that he might come back and try get more than she bargained for and hurt her or something and I’m just worried sick. Please write back or email me with an answer to my dilemmas.
-Isaac
2 ian trent // Dec 31, 2008 at 9:16 PM
my girlfriend cheated on me. I never really had trust in her anymore after that but I still love her. But I know it will never be the same
3 Mind Over Matter // Jan 8, 2009 at 2:11 AM
Anybody who cheats should kill him/herself.
4 Dennis // Jan 20, 2009 at 12:47 AM
People should stop cheating on each other and keep their promises.
5 Raul // Jan 25, 2009 at 7:22 AM
There is no need to cheat in a relationship i just found out my girlfriend cheated on me. I feel like she took a piece of my heart. You can’t be with two people at the same time and say you love one and want to be with the other one.
6 Sam // Jan 27, 2009 at 7:38 AM
Hi my girlfriend cheated on me thinking I would not find out myself but I proved her wrong by confronting the guy she was dating and we called her and talked to her. But I still love her so much.
7 Emmy // Feb 6, 2009 at 7:08 PM
My boyfriend of two years had sex with another girl twice.
He’s being extremely sincere about it.
I know deep down I have hope of one day being with him again. I hope he will be the guy of my dreams as he once was.
Though, He did lie about it for a month and I had to figure it out from his friend.
He even denied it for a little while.
I dont know whether to believe him.
He has lied and hurt me plenty of times but has never gone this far.
I’m in love with him and he says that he’s still in love with me.
I’m scared and I really need help.
8 oneilia // Feb 13, 2009 at 7:47 PM
my boyfriend cheated when we just met by kissing another girl and now hes cheating on me again. i am only 14yrs old and i am madly in love with this guy he treats me the best i don’t get to go on dates with him but we talk a lot over the phone he talks about my education and he doesn’t want anything physical he is my first and i want him to be my last please tell me what to do.
9 Chan // Feb 17, 2009 at 8:12 PM
My girlfriend cheated on me and it’s hard to ever think of us reall being together but it gets worse because right now we live together and I have no where to go. I don’t know how to deal
10 jerry // Feb 25, 2009 at 9:24 AM
well my girlfriend cheated on me 2 or 3 day after we went out by having sexy with another guy. i never really would have expected that from her n the only reason she told me was because she thought she was pregnant from him. i didnt brake up with her cuz i thought it was mine but now it turns out that she not but ever sense i we have been talking about it n she told me when we went out she didnt care about anything but know she said she cant live with out me cuz i changed her n treated her the best like no other guy. i lover her so much but i dont know wat to do because everything she tells me i think she is lying to me but at the same time i dont so plz Email me n give some advice
11 john // Feb 25, 2009 at 9:45 PM
My girl went to Jamaica and cheated with bartender she was only there for 7 days. What should I do now that my girl cheated on me?
12 Matt // Mar 2, 2009 at 12:24 PM
I broke up with my girlfriend and i still loved her but needed space. She is not a whore, but choose to screw like 5 other guys when we broke up. I still love her and she says she wants to be together but i dont know if i can get over the kind of person she choose to be when we werent dating…..HELP plz
13 Dylan // Mar 3, 2009 at 5:56 AM
Im 14yrs old. I have a girlfriend who i am truly in love with. Thimg is, i told her i loved her and she said it back. I told her again and she said it back. She was lying. She cheated on me the other day by going out with 2 16yr old guys. Im worried sick that this could ruin my relationship. Im also worried that she might get hurt. I mean, it’s 2 16yr olds that can drive and see her anytime they want, and what if she refuses to give them what they want and they decide to take what they want or punish her for not giving it to them. Please help me…I have no idea what i can do to save myself and her.
14 mary // Mar 7, 2009 at 6:35 PM
okay i like this boy we known eachother almost a month already. But before he wanted to be offical to be in a relationship. Before he didn’t want to rush into things so i agreed on the same. But then he broke up with me the next day and said he wan’t ready and that he doesn’t wants to break my heart. We are still talking and etc but we act just like a couple and we are not he went to my house before and met my parents and then i went to his house. I am not dumb to “do it” with him. But like i seen on his myspace page this girl he has he talks to and she writes “do you tell all those girls that?” he has a habit of saying the sweetest stuff but to me it’s sweetalking to confuse the girl. So i asked him does he talks to other girls so i don’t have to waste my time waiting for him to be a couple. He does want us to be offical he keeps giving me hints about us in a relationship so idk???
15 admin // Mar 9, 2009 at 9:57 AM
Sounds like he is just string you along. I would just ignore him a bit and keep your options open. Men don’t like competition and if he thinks that you might not be interested in him anymore then maybe he’ll stop playing the field and settle down. Anyone who breaks up a day after making a commitment is a bit confused. Take a couple steps back and it’ll start to be a little clearer as to what his intentions are.
16 Chris // Mar 11, 2009 at 10:41 PM
My girlfriend cheated on me after 7 months of dating pretty much, we were doing pretty good and everything… But she liked this other guy and she never really told me about it, she always pointed him out in the halls and said that she hated the guy… But one night she got drunk with him and slept with him… She told me Monday and then broke up with me… I still love her but she wants to be friends… But she told me that shes going out with him now, and I don’t quite think I can stay with her (friendship wise) anymore, I love her and if I can’t have her as a girlfriend then I don’t think I want her as a friend… It would go against my… I can’t remember what its called… It would go against what I feel for her. But if she wants this guy and shes happy with him then I will be happy for her… I just need help on what I should do now, because im at a loss right now and I have no idea what to do… Im very open and tomorrow I think I will just tell her what I just told all of you, hopefully it will get better.
17 Raymond // Mar 17, 2009 at 5:34 AM
Look I don’t want a response but I have a girl for a year and 4 months… I found out she sorta cheated on me and it hurt but I loved her so much I just wanted to work through it, we did and got back together then in 4 days she said she didn’t want to be together but she couldn’t breakup with me so I wanted her to be happy, so I did it for her ….. I’m devastated, hurt and just can get her outta my mind so no matter what you say I’ll love her forever and I’ll never forget her and I’m always going to try to get her back.
18 Freddy // Mar 19, 2009 at 4:57 AM
Hi,
My name is fred im 25yrs an i am an Indian a Roman Catholic,at present im in Dubai & being here i precisely first time ever fell in love with a Kenyan girl since we both work in the same mall & travel in the same car lift,itz just been three months till now,we gave it a good start and believed we loved each other truely,we also been physically a several times she always wanned to be in my place with me and never thought about goin home, we kept calling each other several times a day,But nowadays she behaves very rude to me never talks to me like she did before does’nt even count on me,if i say i want to meet her she says she is tired or she has a headache,Due to this inheritant behaviour these days i started having too many arguments with her & verbal conflicts coz she does’nt try to understand me like she did before,She now says she needs freedom to hang out with her friends & does’nt want me to interfere in her personal life,she started doing bad things to me which i never expected,i truely love her from the bottom of my heart and i dont wanna loose her coz i still know that she loves me like i do,she cared for me in a special way,i ask you to please help me out in this situation coz im seriously going through a tough time,i want her to be the one she was before what can i do?
19 harry // Mar 19, 2009 at 7:40 PM
my gf cheated on me kissing other guy… she went to his house and let him kiss her but she pushes him back later after 2 kisses.. claiming that he locked the door and kiss her forcefully… and she asked me to forgive her give her second chance I really dnno what to do
20 BadDay // Mar 20, 2009 at 4:38 PM
Re: to the 12 year old: you are about to start becoming a man. Prepare to feel emotions so painful you will think you are having a heart attack. This is probably why when guys actually have a heart attacks, they just take it. Just keep your actions AND emotions in check and you might survive into your thirties without a criminal record.
Yup… my girl told me she cheated on me today. She said she had something bad to tell me… I though: pregnancy, she wants to break up with me, shes dieing, I’m dieing, shes failing university, someone raped her, etc… but i didnt see that one coming.
Planes crash, houses burn down, cancer kills, but i just didnt think it was possible for her to cheat on me. Its still hard to comprehend.
I didn’t take my emotions out on her, but i was crushed and betrayed. We talked for an hour in my car and I told her its over. I wasn’t feeling that we could last long anyways, but emotions kept me with her. This severed that. Emotions are gay anyways!
This is kind of a good way of letting these things out. Plus, looking at the list of things I thought it might be, this isn’t the worst thing that could happen.
Plus… I AM FREE! And in a year or two, i will graduate as an electrical engineer, have good money, and a good life. I just hope i can find a girl i can respect in the future.
21 Heartbroken // Mar 24, 2009 at 1:21 AM
My girlfriend of one year and 3 months cheated on me. I know there was absolutely no reason for her to be unhappy with our relationship, but she did it anyways. I will never forget this hurt and betrayal. I just needed to get this off my chest.
22 Kimm // Mar 25, 2009 at 2:57 PM
Okay I was out with this guy and although I didn’t fully trust him as I knew before I got with him he had more then one girl on the go. Thing is a week into the relationship he kisses another girl he thinks I dunno. Turns out I do and I confront him about it and he says “There’s nothing to say about it”. I then agreed to stay with him but after leaving to go home I get a text saying “It’s over that he can’t just be with one person”. Then today , the next day after, he asks to meet up with me to make amends. He goes on about how he can’t just be with me and asks me what I want to do about us. I love him but I’m furious with him and I dunno what to do. Worse of all after all this I let him kiss me and now I’m kicking myself for it. What should I do? I wanna be with him but not with all the other girls as well.
help!
23 admin // Mar 25, 2009 at 3:07 PM
Kim – I would tread lightly here with this guy and maybe take out the emotional part so you don’t fall head over heals with him and just end up hurt in the end. If you like being with him and don’t mind the exclusivity bit then just have a little fun with it but if you are seriously bothered by him being with other girls then end it now on the physical side of things even with the kissing. He might need a little time to mature and realize that he can’t be in a real relationship and play these games. At least he is being honest with you now that you caught him about not wanting to be with only one person. I think that is a big enough signal that things might just not work out right now.
24 manda // Mar 29, 2009 at 11:22 AM
so let me say, im 15 and i think i love this guy, but im not in lvoe with him.. im kinda stuck with not knowing. I swore like a week ago i was but until i found out he had sex with another girl 2 months into are relationship and lied abotu ti for four months i was astonished. I always knew he hooked up with this girl, but never knew they had sex until we got in a fight and decided to admit to it. He said he “hated me” but i knew he obviously didnt, we began to talk about it and i took him back becasue i know i could not find it in me to hate him. He made me look like such a fool. I tend to flirt with guys sometimes but he has and had a problem with it so he brokeup with me once before for it.. pathetic but he deleted every single guys number from my phone, and he looks at me as if im the bad person. Ithink because he cant trust him self he cant trust me but we are going on 7 months and id like to make it work and im trying to find forgivness and i have no idea where its going. Oh and also he hooked up with this girl a few times after i left his house and they where drinking and what not, than a week after they had sex so it happened more than once basically the drinking, but whether or nto he was in love with me or just liked me at the point he should have had the sufficeny to say look i have a girlfriend.. but he didnt learn the first why would he do it again?obviously to if he knew he couldnt handle him self drinkning that much he should have not drank while being with her again. and its not like i dont satisfy him in ways he wanted to be, he definitly was.. thats what i especially dont get ! and he told me he felt bad for me.. but than fell in love with me he cant get any of his thoughts straight. This girl tried again to hook up with him nd he backed away.. but i dont know if it shows much. I would love to not fall back on the past but i dont know where this is going. even if i did let him go to i dont know if i can handle seeing him with someone else.
25 tawanda // Apr 2, 2009 at 5:28 AM
I have just heard my girl was dating another guy from my workplace but the guy has transferred and I don’t know what to do.
26 Sarah // Apr 15, 2009 at 2:04 PM
My boyfriend got really drunk, and nearly slept with another woman. Before it got to full intercourse, he stopped it and said he couldn’t go through with it, because he was with me. However, he still slept in her bed, and cuddled with her until the morning, because he said he ‘felt sorry’ for her. She was a total Stranger. He doesn’t know why he did it, and can barely remember much of it as he was so drunk ( he rarely drinks). I don’t know what to think- I’m still here, but only just. Is this any different than it would be if he had properly slept with her, and not given into his conscience?
27 admin // Apr 15, 2009 at 3:42 PM
I wouldn’t let the “I was so drunk” excuse go for this one. It is one thing to get super wasted and make out with a girl or grind on them on the dance floor but going home with them crosses all boundaries and whomever he was drinking with should have been looking out for him and making sure something like this would happen. If he says that he only slept in her bed he is just softening the blow to you. I would just make sure he used a condom if you are sticking around.
28 joel // Apr 15, 2009 at 3:43 PM
Hi, my name is Joel and I live in florida but I just moved away from my girlfriend that lives in New Jersey and I recently found out for the first time ever that she cheated on me. Some guy messed around with her and I asked her why she didn’t stop him and she said she was caught up in the moment. We’re both very much in love with each other and I can’t stand not being with her but I’m going back and I need some wise words of what to do. Please help?
29 Love Guru // Apr 15, 2009 at 4:00 PM
Joel – the big issue here is the long distance relationship that you guys are trying to maintain. She sounds like she is needy for intimacy so you need to make the decision to either move back to be closer to her or accept that she will continue to cheat on you without no real excuse except that she needs to be fulfilled physically in your absence. If you are okay with an open relationship then you just need to make sure that you don’t get jealous when this is happening and that she is protecting herself.
30 Kevin // Apr 15, 2009 at 6:43 PM
Kevin; im just a 14yrd boy who love this girl name ana. and that i feel if she was cheating on me because here ex was trying to pregnant her twice which got me pissed-off and like i feel like if she didn’t want me right now?
please im very emotionally in pain that i need some help.
31 Brad // Apr 16, 2009 at 7:45 AM
Hi – About 6 months ago I found out that my girlfriend of 3 years had been sleeping with her boss. We stayed together and I have asked here to leave her job and she still hasn’t. To be honest my problem is that I don’t know if I love her. Don’t worry I need more help than this can give me.
32 juan // Apr 16, 2009 at 11:26 AM
I use to be a player ass gang member that like to go out with a lot of girls n played them all then came a short beautiful short chunky girl that change my life around I stopped gangbangin n stop being a player she took me in as a player n risked it just so she could love me n then I got played all crazy I did not break up with her n it was hard but if u love someone n if they r sorry they deserve 1 last chance.
33 Love Guru // Apr 16, 2009 at 11:38 AM
Brad – I think all of the writing on the wall is here with this one. You probably don’t feel like you love her because of this betrayal. I would cut your loses here so you don’t waste anymore of your life in this relationship. I stayed in a 6 year relationship that I should have ended after 3 years. Life is too short and there are way too many women out there to be hung up on this one. She has shown you her cards and you need to make a move now.
34 S. Thomas // Apr 16, 2009 at 11:58 PM
I have had my boyfriend who I have been dating for about 8 months cheat on me and claims that they were just friends and this is the first time that it has went this far, they realized they weren’t for one another and he still wants to be her friend. I want to believe him but part of me thinks his story is bull…they have been friends for 5 years so why now did they just have sex? What to think and what to do?
35 Confused // Apr 20, 2009 at 4:01 PM
So I found out my girlfriend of 3 and a half years, has had 3 sexual encounters (2 different guys) since we had an argument back in January. Most of our 3 years have amazing, but I said some really damaging stuff that made her feel unattractive and unappreciated during this argument. We almost broke up that night, but we decided to try and work things out. I tried to meet more of her emotional needs, but having been hurt by me she wasn’t accepting (unbenounced to me). She came in contact with an old fling that she hadn’t talked to since 5 yers ago and had sex with him the night before he went off to Iraq. A month after that she was at the beach and met some random group of guys and ended going to one of their houses. That night and soon after that she slept with him. That was a month ago. I found out last night about this. The past month has been great and we have really been working out our issues. She is committed as ever and believes that since we have isolated and identified our issues, it will never happen again. I want to work things out, but am struggling to sort out my feelings about this. I really love this girl, but this really hurts…
36 chris // Apr 25, 2009 at 6:50 AM
me and my girlfriend ashlee have been togethter a year and 2 months, im madly in love with her but she cheated on me once before and i just let i go now its been 4 days since we have talked and she is always on the ohone with someone else who she claims are just friends . but im not stupid i know theres someone else im trying so hard to get her to admit it so we van make it work . i really love her and if there is any one out there who can help me plz contact me i want to keep the love of my life plz
37 Guy Hearm // Apr 30, 2009 at 7:40 PM
If a girl/guy cheats on you, break up with them. If my girl ever cheated on me I would just tell her to beat it. I always worry about her cheating on me. Maybe its because I am OCD and can’t stop obsessing over stupid minute details. Once a cheater always a cheater, if you want to get cheated on and your heart broken again, keep dating him/her. If not, break up with them! If they cheat on you it means they obviously don’t love you anyway. Find someone who really cares.
38 charlotte // May 7, 2009 at 5:55 AM
Hi, my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend he has sexual intercourse with her and said that was it but I still think he had sex with her, but she denies it all. He always says sorry but there has been other times I’ve caught him texting other girls under boys names in his phone. I’m also 6 months pregnant with his baby and I’m really scared. What should I do? I love him so much I just don’t think he loves me. Please help?
39 Love Guru // May 7, 2009 at 6:12 PM
First of all you really need to get down to the bottom of the truth with your best friend and have a heart to heart with her and if you feel that she is really lying then you need to distance yourself from her. You don’t need friends like that around you. As far as your baby’s daddy goes, you also need to sit down with him and his family to see how committed and mature he is going to be with your relationship from this point on so you don’t put yourself out there emotionally without the same feelings in return.
40 Daniel // May 9, 2009 at 7:46 PM
I’m in love with this girl and I’m still with her…but last year she cheated on me with her ex and when she told me I overreacted and broke up with her. It broke my heart. She cried a lot. She’s really sensitive too which means she cries easily. Well after this happened a week later it was my birthday and on that day she went back out with her ex (the one she cheated with) and when I found out I was extremely furious and it broke my heart. Over the summer I tried to get back with her but I realized it wasn’t going to happen because she was choosing her new boyfriend over me. I had to go to Mexico for 3 and half weeks and when I got back I have found out that she still had feelings for me and cried and cried because she wanted me back. She couldn’t do it because she was still with her boyfriend. Then one time I went to her house to give her a late present and I kissed her. I thought she was going to pull away but she kissed me back..we were kissing for a lot like if we have never kissed…I was really happy. I remember when I saw her it made me feel happy but after 2 months he broke up with her. I knew the whole time he was playing her and I tried telling her but she didn’t believe me. I remember being there for her when it broke her heart. We went back out but not for long because she wanted to go back out with her ex and she broke up with me. It broke my heart once again. I thought we were done for real now but a month later I found out she broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her because of a myspace comment she saw me talking with this girl and somebody messaged her saying that I had sex with this other girl. It wasn’t true though and she got back with me 2 days later after New Years. She realized I was the one she needed and that she loved me. Her ex tried to get back with her but she resisted. She has proven to me that she will never do that again but now I’m the one causing problems. I always call her a ho and a bitch because every time I remember what she did. It kills me and it makes her cry a lot. Right now me and my girl are in a fight about this again as I’m writing this comment. I just need a way to forget about the past, just a way. That’s all I want.
41 Love Guru // May 12, 2009 at 3:50 PM
Wow Daniel. Sounds like an emotional roller coaster but one that you signed up to be on. You need to understand that when your girl was getting back with her ex and breaking up with you that she was not decided yet on where her feelings and heart was. This happens a lot in relationships and you can’t force the issue. The more you push the further the person will be from you. You can’t look at the past as her cheating on you as she was torn between the two of you. You need to let her know that you fully forgive her so that you can enjoy your relationship otherwise you are just going to drive yourself crazy over it. You have endured this long so don’t just waste it if you really have feelings for her and just can’t be a man about it and take your ego out of the equation.
42 a man torn apart // May 13, 2009 at 9:49 PM
It’s really hard to talk about this. She was everything I wanted and so much more. We always talked about how great our lives are gonna be together. How beautiful our children will be when we have them. Hell we even picked out names. At that point I fell in love. Blinded by it so much I did not know of the terrible terrible pain that was to come. I’m from Florida but I met her in North Carolina. I left in december & told her I will be back for her at the end of May. We went out for 10 months but she told me she cheated around 2 months ago. I forgave her because I believe in 2nd chances & I stilled loved her with every ounce of my being. A month later everything turns to hell & pure pain. She tells me she is pregnant with his kid. To top it off they are cousins but they did not know at the time. It hurts so much. Whats more, shortly before she told me that, I had bought her a ring which it doesn’t take a scientist to know what I was going to do with it. Do you know how much balls it takes to ask that kind of question. She hurt me so bad, I still love her but now this baby is between us. All my beliefs about love & life burned in my skull in that moment. I still want to be with her but I do not want to raise a baby that belongs to the man that cheated with my girl. Please I am drained from depression and need immediate guidance.
43 Love Guru // May 14, 2009 at 10:47 PM
My real honest advice to you is to move on and leave this relationship behind as a lesson and to not continue to let it emotionally drain you. She probably knew of her pregnancy which is why she felt inclined to tell you that she had cheated on you. It’ll take a little time for you to get over this but in the end you should come out having learned a positive lesson from this relationship. The important piece to take away from this experience is that not all women are cheats so don’t go into your next relationship scarred by this experience but to just take a little more time getting to really know your partner.
44 griffin // May 18, 2009 at 4:09 PM
yea, my girlfriend cheated on me a week ago was at the bar and got trashed, went back to a friends house and slept with him the next morning she tells me right away and is deeply deeply embarrassed and ashamed of herself. I believe she is sorry for what she did, but where do we take our relationship now?? plz help
45 Love Guru // May 20, 2009 at 1:44 AM
The good part of this story is that she was honest right away and didn’t hide this from you but the bad part is that you guys are left with the reality that she just slept with some guy. If she knew who the guy was then it might be a larger issue but if it was a random person she met in the bar and you are okay with forgiving her then make sure you fully forgive her otherwise this will continue to eat away at your relationship.
46 Lara // Jun 7, 2009 at 6:11 PM
My boyfriend cheated on me and I don’t know what to do, I love him and he loves me. But I don’t know if it’s worthwhile still being with him, when the trust that we had is now broken. I feel like I want to trust him, but I don’t know if I can. Please help me
Lara
47 Love Guru // Jun 12, 2009 at 1:09 PM
Lara – You should have a very serious conversation to understand why he cheated on you so you can make a determination on whether you think it will happen again and if that is the case then you might want to end the relationship for a little while to teach him a lesson. Tell him to put himself in your seat and see how he would feel it you do that to him.
48 sotiredofthis // Jun 17, 2009 at 8:19 PM
My boyfriend is a sneaky person……he lies all the time. About 90% of the stuff that come out of his mouth is a lie. He has cheated with a number of women but lately he is chatting with women online on dating sites and txting them on his phone. I don’t know if he is having sex with these women or just talking dirty to them. I don’t know if he’s even met these women or not. He tells them on the phone that when he gets his car fixed he’ll come see them. They txt all during the morning, “Hey boo…I miss you boo” and he’ll txt back the same. I don’t understand why he’s doing this. Everyday he looks me in the face and says “He loves me, I’m the only one for him, I’m his wife” but when I leave or am out of his sight he’s doing this.
49 I was stupid - IAN (cont.) // Jun 25, 2009 at 4:53 AM
I told her to stop hanging out/seeing/talking/anything with the guy that she cheated on me with if she expected to have a relationship with me, but she continued to do it for a month after I was trying to give her a second chance. she even spent the night at his house for 2 nights, but she swears nothing happens. For some reason I honestly believe that nothing happened. She eventually told him she could not be friends with him and could not talk to him anymore, after I was on the verge of cutting it off completely with her. So because she did that I just told her I need my space right now and we will see how it goes from here, and I need time to heal. Now, I know that she still talks to him… sometimes… but she does not have feelings for him, I want to believe that at least. So… this is where I am…
50 Claire // Jun 29, 2009 at 6:44 AM
I am in a long distance relationship with a wonderful caring guy, accidentally I found out his e-mail password and seen an e-mail from his ex that he is still friends with. From this I have now checked regularly as she is trying to get back with him and they have a friends with benefit thing going on. He always avoids the truth were she is concerned and I have voiced my concerns over their relationship and he said he would cut down on seeing her if it helped. Unfortunately I know that he is planning on hiking with her at the weekend. What should I do, he tells me I am everything to him and he loves me and we have started planning a future together. Should I e-mail her and tell her that she should move on, she had her chance with him? She relies on him far too much as far as I am concerned. I am drained from it all and of course cannot tell him that I know his password (I know this is an unforgivable thing to do). I love him so much and I am planning on moving to be with him. Please help, I’ve lost loads of weight over this.
51 Love Guru // Jun 29, 2009 at 9:14 AM
You don’t have to tell him that you found his password but tell him that you are uncomfortable with him seeing or talking to his ex. The biggest issue here is his need for intimacy because your relationship is long distance. I am sure that if you were closer to him and top of mind that the situation would be different. I wouldn’t suggest emailing her even though the impulse to do so is so strong. She’ll then use this against you. Guys will in most cases fall for the friends with benefits thing every time because it is low hanging fruit and doesn’t take much maintenance that real relationships do.
52 Ben // Jul 1, 2009 at 8:12 AM
What do you do if you find out your closest mate at the time, who was your soul confidant, had sex with your girlfriend and the 2 kept it a secret while you dated her daily for another 4 months.
I became a christian again 6 months ago, after I broke up with her,
because right now if I ever see him, I am not going to stop hitting him until he has permanent scarring. I can’t help it, its how I feel. Commenting on my faith isn’t the issue, fact is I loved this girl he knew that, and lied to me thick and thin and tried to hide behind his own gf and act self righteous, and was a sympathiser with me throughout my insecurities. He has done this a lot its a trophy for him. I owe it to myself and my ex who made me want to kill myself to at the very least render this man unable to reproduce.
53 chunky monkey // Jul 1, 2009 at 1:23 PM
I got an email from a girl I’ve only met once. She told me to call her so I did. She told me that my bf of almost a year cheated on me while I was out of town with one of my best friends and that she went to the doctor this morning to get an abortion. She was pregnant with twins. 6 weeks. So I told my bf I know and he told me it wasn’t his fault and that he loves me more than anything else. I’m so hurt that he didn’t tell me ‘cuz i had to hear it from someone I hardly know and I don’t know what I want to do. He has texted his ex and told her how he misses her and how he wishes he could help her with her sexual needs and he sent pics of “himself” if you get my meaning to someone he doesn’t even know that he met on the internet. Now this. I feel so hurt and betrayed. I feel like I’m not worth anything at all and that other women are so much better than me. What do I do? I love him so much but I feel like he doesn’t love me or want me around. If he did he wouldn’t be hurting me like this. What do I do?
54 Love Guru // Jul 1, 2009 at 1:34 PM
First of all do not feel like you are at fault at all in this mess. How can he say it is not his fault that he pulled out his penis and had unprotected sex with another girl and got her pregnant. Sounds like he has developed a track record of this type of behavior. The first thing you need to do is stop blaming yourself and break up with this guy immediately before you send the wrong message to him that it is okay to be doing this to women. Do not text or call him no matter how sad you might be feeling. Let him call you and you can decide whether you want to talk to him and work things out. If you call him then you are just putting yourself more out there for more relationship abuse.
55 chunky monkey // Jul 1, 2009 at 1:50 PM
And I’m pregnant. Should I still talk to him after I leave just cuz of the baby? Or do I just shut him out? I really love him and I’m scared if I don’t stop talking to him I’m just going to be continuously hurt.
56 Love Guru // Jul 1, 2009 at 1:59 PM
That makes it more complex for sure. You don’t want to shut him out totally. You just need a little time to work this out in your head and set your emotions aside. You can still love someone but don’t have to be with them. You need to think about what is going to be best for you and your baby. Give him a little time to think about the mess he just created and be adult about your actions on how you are handling this situation.
57 Ludacris // Jul 1, 2009 at 6:50 PM
I’m 14 years old. I’ve been dating my love for almost 2 years now. About 2 months ago I sent some pictures (to a freind [female])… She sent back. I forgot about it since then because it meant NOTHING to me. My girlfriend just found out and shes going wild. She said her heart is broken, she can’t trust me, and extending what actually happened. I have cried over this and she has too. This has came so fast. She says she loves me so much still and will not break up with me – which I’m glad for – but she keeps “finding” out more minor things I’ve muttered in the past and making it like a big deal. She is the reason I get up in the morning and get dressed. Please help! What should I be saying, I know what I did was a mistake and I totally regret it, but she can’t take my word anymore. I’m afraid our relationship is breaking down. HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
58 Izzy // Jul 2, 2009 at 6:57 AM
My girlfriend cheated on me three times, once in London because she felt lonely, another time with her friend who she never wanted to get physical with, and lastly with one of my friends, and they made out in his car. There was nothing more than making out and she tells me that she gets caught up in the moment and can’t help herself, but once she’s in the middle of it she realizes she’s making a big mistake, and she told me about all three of them when they happened, I’m deeply in love with her, and she is deeply in love with me, we started to fool around but I couldn’t help think that that guy probably did this exact thing to her. What am I supposed to do now?
59 help please // Jul 9, 2009 at 8:53 AM
Hey, I’m 16 and I was going out with this girl i think im really in love with for a year and a half. But i’ve had to recently move away from england to canada, But now i have gone she keeps going out, yes fair enough she wants to put her ind off things but i keep finding all these pictures of her with these boys, and shes going to a party on saturday and i asked her to promise me she wouldnt do anything with any boys and she said she cant promise me that. we split up about a month ago and when we split up she promised she would wait for me and not get with anyone but now when i talk to her she just tells me to get over her. but i have no friends here and nothing to put my mind off things. Im so scared she is going to do something with somebody soon. i really love her.
Please help. Oh and are there anythings i can do to put my mind off her?
60 Brad Hunter // Jul 19, 2009 at 1:55 PM
Im 13 and my girlfriend is camping for another 2 days but while i was talking to her i heard a lad say millie suck us off ( blowjob ) he sounded about 20 nd im worried sick becuase she was in a relationship with 1 of my friends in year six and she was cuaght kissing the other lad . So i askedmy mate to she what she was doin but when he called me back he sounded like he was hiding something . She might be drinkin aswell and when she drinks she goes wild . please help me .
61 ROY // Jul 22, 2009 at 7:03 PM
my girlfriend cheated on my the weird thing is she is breaking up with me at first and i asked her why and after the jiberjaber i finally asked her if there another party involve and she said “yes” and i was really willing to get her back but she told me she already kissed him at her dormitory and when she told me that i suddenly lost all of my respect for her shes not a fuck!ng wh0re shes just stupid OLD guys are too much of a sweet talker. anyway she wants to get back with me but im confused if i should take her back, BTW guys DONT TAKE THEM BACK IF ur EMOTIONALLY hurt and WANT REVENGE and she is REMORESFUL because u might just end up HURTING her emotionally,verbally and worst sexually so dont go into that unhealthy relationship and just leave her, and as for me I NID HELP NID SOMEONE to talk to damn life a bitch im so messep up right now, pls reply
62 Syed Shahriar Ahsan // Jul 25, 2009 at 12:33 PM
I had a relationship with a girl named Brinti. All time she lied and I trust her. After 2 years of our relationship she betrayed me and go with another guy named Anto. I am an Advocate. The guy is an engineer. I don’t know why she goes. We have a physical relation. But the guy knows it and says he marry her. I get news from a source that boy is characterless and many times he did it with women. I love but cannot accept her. Because she is a liar and betrayer. I don’t believe her.
63 Wayne // Jul 30, 2009 at 5:54 AM
Hey,
I was crying today because i walked in my room and i found my Girlfriend fucking my brother and i was so weak i fell right down the floor and started to cry because i loved her i even asked her to marry me and she said yes and i was happy but when i saw her fucking my brother my heart felt like it just ripped out wat do i do plz help me i am begging you
Alberta,Edmonton,Canada
64 Love Guru // Aug 3, 2009 at 2:35 PM
Sounds like you guys are in a pretty casual relationship and not “deeply in love” each other. People that are deeply in love don’t act that way and she might need to just grow up a little bit more and if you are fine with waiting around for it to possibly happen and don’t mind the mental anguish then go right ahead but my advice to you is to keep it casual with her until she is ready to commit to your relationship fully.
65 rad_shifter@yahoo.com // Aug 3, 2009 at 2:36 PM
My GF admits cheating on me I forgive her but she still blames me for what she did because I did not pay enough attention to her and that @$$hole which is her co-worker takes advantage of our misunderstanding and she also admits that she kissed the guy and regrets doing that. WTF should i do?
66 Love Guru // Aug 3, 2009 at 2:43 PM
This sounds like a pretty common incident where people that are feeling neglected in a relationship will sometime confide in co-workers about their problems and a lot of times they have their own hidden agendas. I would tell her that if she has any issues with you to talk directly to you about it and if she needs to take a break to think about things then to do that instead of cheating and breaking your trust.
67 dmourn // Aug 5, 2009 at 12:04 PM
my girlfriend and i have been dating for three years now. We met in highschool, i was her first and she was my first. We did everything together and told eachother every. We never had any problems at all. Until last week. She said she got drunk at a party and had sex with a guy. She told me the day after and i know she is sincerly sorry and would do anything to take it back. We both know this guy but not really well. We talked about it alot and i have forgiven her. We are trying to act normal now, but everytime i see her i have the thought in my mind that she had sex with another guy. I want to try to make this work and i know she does too. I just wonder if i can ever look at her and be with her and not have this thought in my mind. I would do anyting to make things go back to the way they were, but i dont think thats possible. I need help please
68 Broken // Aug 13, 2009 at 1:17 AM
i have been going out with a girl for 10 months now
i love her to bits but she got drunk and went to 3rd base with one of my oldest friends 4 days after i left on a holiday
she begged for forgiveness, and whilst it still hurts even now, i gave her it and we are still together
however since i have come back shes been completely taking advantage of me and disregarding my feelings and i dont know if she loves me anymore
doesnt help shes an excellent actress and knows it :/
i want to get her to somehow prove she loves me, but i dont know how or what
needed to get that one off my chest lol
please help
x
69 Waterflows // Aug 20, 2009 at 10:37 AM
Hi..My GF of 4 years just informed me that she cheated a week and a half ago. She could look me in the eyes. She is very emotional so she was crying a lot. We have been trying to do this long distance relationship but she just spoiled it. She said she was feeling lonely and needed somebody. She is a great person if you meet her. She has to start school by September in another city and she’s telling me that she wants to come back and that she can’t do this thing. I hate the feeling of betrayal but I really do care about her. The worst thing is that I bought her a ring recently which she knows about and she still cheated. I was trying my best to keep the interest high. I was supposed to go see her beginning of August but I didn’t make it which made her mum hate me. I know I have a lot ahead of me. Should I go ahead and forgive her and make her come back or let her go. Should I cut her out? Should I test it out for the second time? She even said the condom broke.
70 Love Guru // Aug 20, 2009 at 10:45 AM
Waterflows – Sounds like you might want to just let her go. You can still have feelings for her but if she can’t stand to be alone and you guys are in a long distance relationship then it’ll keep happening. You don’t want to have her come back if she is away for school. There might be a time later in life where things might work out for you guys better. Keep the friendship if you value it and don’t be a nut case that she cheated as it is a pretty common thing with long distance relationships. Be happy that she actually told you and that you didn’t hear about it 2nd hand.
71 omario // Aug 21, 2009 at 10:31 AM
my fiance and i have been together for a year and a half now, i go see her all the time, but just last month she went away on her vacation and out there she went out picked up a random guy as she said and made out with him, i seen the picture of it later on, when she came back she was very quite i have tried to do anything to make her happy but finally when i found out about the incident she said that she was feeling very embarrassed and ashamed of herself for doing it and every time she would look at me she would feel guilty now she is kinda distancing herself from me, i have forgiven her but i am trying to find the spark here because i am madly in love with her and she says that she is deeply in love with me as well, what do I do i don’t know anymore i really need help …
72 larry // Aug 29, 2009 at 4:51 PM
we are 4 years in this relationship and my girlfriend cheated on me 2month ago JUST BECAUSE SHE GOT ADVICE FROM A FRIEND SIMPLY BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A JOB to earn aliving she has being the one taking the resposibilty,NOW SHE IS REGRETTING IT ,asking for my forginess that upon what she was adviced to do she got nothing in return AND I STILL LOVE HER PLS WHAT DO I DO EMAIL me pls
73 rami // Aug 30, 2009 at 7:30 PM
My girlfriend cheated on me after 7 months of dating pretty much, we were doing pretty good and everything… But she liked this other guy and she never really told me about it, she always pointed him out in the halls and said that she hated the guy… But one night she got drunk with him and slept with him… She told me Monday and then broke up with me… I still love her but she wants to be friends… But she told me that shes going out with him now, and I don’t quite think I can stay with her (friendship wise) anymore, I love her and if I can’t have her as a girlfriend then I don’t think I want her as a friend… It would go against my… I can’t remember what its called… It would go against what I feel for her. But if she wants this guy and shes happy with him then I will be happy for her… I just need help on what I should do now, because im at a loss right now and I have no idea what to do…?????
74 confuse // Sep 7, 2009 at 12:32 AM
Dear Sir,
Just recently I found out my 2years girlfriend sms-ing and calling another guy. at first, she keep telling me “he” is a female friend and I found suspecious and call the number and found out he is a guy. I approached her and she told me that she treated him as just a little brother (she is 26 and he is 21) and never told me because she knew that I will not accept she has a male friend. from her conversation, I can feel that she easy going and happy when chatting with this guy and she told me that we we had arguement and when she not happy, she will call this guy, crying on the phone.. i was so hurt when I knew this and I really cannot accept the facts eventhough she told me she love me and there is no relationship between them. She felt very bad for cheating me and sak for forgiveness and assure me that she will not contact with this guy anymore. I told her I love her and forgive her but deep inside my heart, I cannot trust her anymore. Sometimes, this guy will met her after she knock off and now, I was so affraid that he will see her again and I wanted everyday to fetch her after she knock off but I can’t. Pls tell me what to do? I’m really confuse.. I forgive her but I’m keep thinking of how many time they went out and did she holds hand, did they went to bed.. Goshh!! all this question keep asking me….
75 Kev // Oct 4, 2009 at 12:41 AM
Hey I’m really confused my GF of 3 months has another BF that I know about and she is having a sexual relationship with him but also cheating with other different guys at the same time but is honest about it with me. I’m really in love with her and she is too. She’s helped me through a lot and she starting to stop cheating with her friends as far as I know and she had this BF before I met her. What should I do??? I don’t think I can live
without her.
76 Love Guru // Oct 5, 2009 at 4:36 PM
Sounds like this so called “GF” of yours is young and wild and doesn’t want to be locked into any type of relationship right now. If you really think you love her and see what she is doing to other guys then you might want to take a closer look at the situation with yourself removed. I wouldn’t go calling her your girlfriend when she already has another boyfriend and is sleeping with other guys. This sounds like a recipe for disaster for all involved and be careful not to catch any diseases in the meantime.
77 In Love and confused // Oct 26, 2009 at 9:39 AM
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We are both deeply in love with one another. I went to the states just this past weekend, I was gone for two days! My friend was having a moving away party and I come back to hear that my boyfriend had sex with one of my good friends while he was really drunk. When I talked to him about it, he was actually crying he was upset cause he didn’t remember it happening and it hurt him to hurt me like this. I asked my friend if they used a condom and she said they didn’t, and she could possibly be pregnant. I’m a little worried. About a year and a half ago I was really high and I cheated on him, sadly, i gave guy a blow job but I never cheated on him with sexual intercourse. We’re kind of at an even boat here, we both did it and felt like crap and agreed its not something that we would ever want happening again. Should I break up with him or should we stay together and continue or relationship as good as it was? What if he made my friend pregnant without meaning to?
-Confused
78 Lonely Girl // Nov 23, 2009 at 9:05 PM
My boyfriend told me he was just going to spend the night hanging with the guys, having a couple drinks while playing video games, or watching a movie. They ended up going to the bars, and he ended up seeing a friend he’s kind of had a thing for, for a while. They ended up both getting completely and totally drunk, and ended up making out three different times. She has a boyfriend as well, so she ended up lying and telling him a different story than what my boyfriend told me. The only good I can see is that he told me the next time he saw me, which happened to be the next day. The problem is that I want to work things out with him and be in a relationship, but he’s not questioning everything. I’ve been told that time will help, if we just have a little space, because emotions are running high right now and confusing the both of us. I just don’t know what to do, because I want to be with him, but I don’t know if that’s the best thing to do.
79 Mike // Dec 22, 2009 at 10:51 AM
Hey, I’m confused on what I should I do. My girlfriend cheated on me about 2 weeks ago from another guy but she said she was thinking about me as they were kissing.. about 2 days ago she broke up with her boyfriend and said she liked him but she loved me. She cheated on me once and from what I’ve heard she has cheated on all of her previous boyfriends too. She wants to get back together but I’m in a tough situation. I don’t know what to do. Can someone please get back to me on this.
80 Love Guru // Dec 22, 2009 at 2:06 PM
Sounds like he is not ready to be in a steady relationship and wants to play the field. Age and maturity have a big play in this as men tend to mature at a slower rate then women. Video games, hanging out with the boys and bar hopping sounds like an early 20s mentality that hopefully he’ll be able to grow out of soon enough. If he is serious and committed to having a relationship with you then he’ll need to prove it by his actions. You hold the cards now so slow play your hand for the best results.
81 mi // Dec 22, 2009 at 2:12 PM
I have a boyfriend who’s 24 yrs old but never acts like his age…. he’s fond of playing poker, basketball, computer games and the like….sometimes, I don’t feel that he loves me cuz he lied to me many times like when we have a date, he told me he’s out with his mom but I saw him just playing poker, then I was about to watch his game as an ever loyal GF but when I called him to know the exact place of the game, he said they change venue, but I saw him with his guy friend on the old venue he told me about… then the last one is I saw him online, then he told me he was chatting with his sister, when in fact I caught him chatting with other girls he just knew from a social space. Sometimes, I do feel that he loves me like when he introduced me to all his family members, he helped us last Typhoon Ondoy, and when he was intoxicated and almost died, he looked for me, and I think we really had a connection through these times. Every time we fight, he really never says he’s sorry, but instead we’ll just see each other one day (cuz we are neighbors) and act like as if nothing happened, or sometimes when we see each other online, he’ll buzz me and then we talk like friends again…. the last time he made me upset was when I caught him chatting with other girls, instead of saying he will not do it again, he said he’s just chatting and talking and he’s not courting anyone and don’t have a plan of meeting them… I’m really upset that I don’t talk to him anymore, but the worst is he will never initiate to talk to me either… and the last thing he said was, he felt devastated cuz the guys in the computer shop laughed at him when I caught him that time… but I never nagged or anything I just said, if u are really just friends with these girls, then why don’t you introduce me, but he never did…. What should I do? pls… I need help… thanks.
82 Love Guru // Dec 22, 2009 at 3:16 PM
My suggestion to you here is to not initiate any conversation with him as he is expecting you to do so and your relationship with him from his perspective seems to be out of convenience. If he isn’t willing to accept fault in these matters then he continue down this path of behavior and you will continue to be hurt by it. I would let him know not in a nagging way that if he has any intentions of having a relationship with you that he needs to be honest and committed to you. It seems that his passion for playing poker is really important to him. You’ll need to accept that if you want to get serious with him as that looks to be a deal breaker for him.
83 mi // Dec 22, 2009 at 10:31 PM
hi love guru…. i made a mistake and when i saw him online i said how are u… but he never reply…i know it’s a wrong move… he always has a way of making me feel guilty that i was the one who upset him…… and u know what, i saw his mom the other night and when i mentioned that i caught him cheating through chat with other girls, she only said, it’s just chat…… honestly speaking, i never nagged him that day, it just happen that the computer shop was too small for the guys to hear our conversation, and one commented that he was caught by a police… i guess that was the one made an impact to him and that probably he felt like he lost
his manly ego…
i don’t want us not to be talking until xmas but i guess he’s the one who doesn’t want to talk now…
i want to tell him that the only thing i want is for me to be the only one…but i don’t know how to start… is it ok to tell him in email since he never reply to me… and sometimes, i just want to break it off, coz he’s making me upset…. and i am leaving next month to work abroad but we’re still gonna see each other coz he’s gonna be there also by march, but we’re not in the same company. i love him and i think we’re really cool together like i can tell him anything under the sun and he’s the same except those he knows that will make me upset…
i think we can still work it out and we will be happy when we’re abroad coz he can’t do those kiddie stuff when he started to work and i feel that we’re gonna be much closer coz he can only rely to me as his companion….
right now i always saw him online wid view his webcam , and for sure he’s flirting wid someone… when we we’re still ok, he has less time for chatting coz he visits me here at home and we watch dvd or play psp or even watching porn on the net……i’m afraid the more time we don’t talk, the more time he has to chat wid them and maybe to find someone he gets comfortable with….. i’ve always been ever supported to him that i helped him with his resume and finding a job while here, but he was never lucky to have one… i helped him wid his finances like when his motor cycle malfunctioned and when i send him to the hospital… his mom promised to pay me by new yr… i don’t know if he’s just using me bec im convenient to him and i forgive him even he’s not saying his sorry…. i think he get used to that… im really sad that we’re not gonna spend the xmas together coz im not gonna beg him to be ok…. i already made an effor of saying how are u but he never reply……
i only have 2 weeks before i leave the country, and i guess we should be spending it to together, i don’t know what to do anymore…. it feels like im gonna lose him…. is it ok to great him merry xmas and give gift to his mom… and just be casual…… honestly speaking, if i read ur reply before i was online , i will never initiate any conversation, i know it made my situation worst…..
i believe we should fight for love, and i know if i’ll just move on, but in our situation, we never had a really big fight, it’s just petty quarrel but it really affects me….. and every time i hear his motorcycle passing by i can’t help to look, but he never see me looking at him… i miss him so much….. do u have any good suggestion…. ill make sure ill check ur reply first before making any move…..i think he has this impression that whatever he do, ill keep coming back to him….. pls help me… thanks
84 Mike // Dec 26, 2009 at 9:51 PM
I’m 16, and currently have a girlfriend. She had an emotional attachment to an ex, while we started to date. on the night of our first kiss, she went around to her ex’s place (she was living their at the time) and the ex was drunk. the ex was coming on to my girlfriend and she challenged him that she couldn’t be tempted by him to try and prove a point, but they ended up sleeping with each other. I know she likes me more, but they had had sex before but we hadn’t and didn’t expect sex from me.
My girl lied to me and broke up with me on other terms (such as my studies which are important to me – exams were on-) but i eventually won her back. I learned 2 months in exactly what happened from the ex, who was drunk again. I also became good friends with him. My girl told me all the details today as I forced them out of her, but she didn’t want to tell me because she didn’t want us to break up. I know she genuinely actually loves me, and I really like her back.
What should I do?? She’s my first real girlfriend and I want to run away from ever thinking of that night, as it is now ruined. She is currently not having a good time because i haven’t talked to her since she told me the truth and I didn’t say we were going to stay together. I could never forgive her but should I stay with her? I don’t feel the same way I do towards her before I know the details of her cheating. I thought they were both intoxicated or something. Help!
85 taye // Jan 14, 2010 at 7:03 PM
Ive been with my boyfriend alittle over a year and my family loves him cause hes a nice guy. One day i found a number romantic text messages on his phone. i confronted him about it hes says its a mistake and wont happen again. yesterday i found that he and some girl possibly his ex where still leaving love messages to each other on facebook. I m really in love with this guy and i dont know should i talk it out and make it work or just leave the relationship.
86 Love Guru // Jan 15, 2010 at 11:55 AM
You can give him one more chance. Let him know that you see leaving romantic text messages and love messages on facebook as a form of cheating and if he does it again then you are ready to walk. Be strong.
87 Tyler // Feb 21, 2010 at 2:37 PM
Yesterday I just found out my girlfriend cheated on me again….this time alot worse than last time…The first time she cheated was in december and it was a couple make out sesh’s with a guy named Cord…i was like wow…so i broke up with her…later on cord broke up with her and she came back to me..we made out and stuff. Then she said she had to pick one of us on new years…she picked cord and then they did some stuff…but not sex. Later that night i went to her house and she kissed me a couple times…then cord and her broke up. We had sex and then got back together the next day…there was a day towards the end of janurary though where her and cord went to go see a movie and im like wtf? she said tyler just trust me and i was like ok…now that was the re-cap…ok so things were going pretty good in our relationship and i be-friended cord and his friends…so i was chillin with his friend john one day and he tells me did u hear what ur girl and cord did at the movies that one day? I was like no? what? he said she blowed cord and made out…im like wtf ur lieing and he said ask her…i did and she said yes…she said she was regretful and dont know what came over…i was like wow…i cant believe you…you have broken my heart all these times and u expect me to not break up with u…she said ur my one true love and i said i dont know if i can believe that anymore…i dont know what to do…should i break up with her or stay with her? im really confused because i dont know what i did wrong…ive put so much thought into it but i dont know what to do…i need help…i need an answer…if someone could reply back to this that would be great! thank you :]
88 Love Guru // Feb 21, 2010 at 2:53 PM
Tyler, I don’t think you did anything wrong expect to continue to get back in a relationship with this person. As they say there are a lot of fish in the sea. You would be better off spending more time with school work (if your in school) or more time at work (if you work) and not worry about a realtionship. Keep your head up and love will find you.
89 D~z1l // Feb 21, 2010 at 5:28 PM
well basicly i had dis girlfriend ive been goin out with for 3 years and like 4 months nd i found out recently that she cheated on me multiple times after she movedd and stoped going to the same school as me she slept with 1 of my friends last year and she slept with some dude when she 1st moved and she went out with multiple people and lied to me about parties etz. but heres the catch i did basiclly everything she did but not every thing and when i ask her why she said becuse of who i use to be and how i was wiyh other girls she dosent kno that ive cheated on her because ive been the best bf in her discription to her and the best lover so i tried to work it out and talk to her but deep down i dnt think shes telling the whole truth nd she is currently pregnant and claims its by me and she lives with me and every day its like hell but we both love each other and dont want to leave what should i do?
90 Love Guru // Feb 22, 2010 at 11:43 AM
D~z1l, honesty is the best policy. Been truthful with each other and to yourselves – are you both ready to settle down and commit to each other? This needs to be discussed and brought to the forefront of your relationship.
91 dan // Feb 23, 2010 at 5:58 PM
Hi! i have this kind of problem… i and my husband is living together as a couple for more than 8 years.But those years, we always had fight and hurting each others feelings. We always fight about his text mate i figure it out that he always keep on touch with his women in a very caring and romantic way which he never do that to me.And two years ago i found out that he had a sex on text with her friend.I believe he had an intimate relationship with this girl and not just in cellphones. And until now i still recall all those betrayal he did to me. Even i would say that i forgive and forget about it but still always coming back. I’ll will be having a peace of mine if he will tell me the truth and always be honest to me. Please help me… i don’t know what to do.
92 dan // Feb 24, 2010 at 8:10 AM
this is a very heplful website…
93 Love Guru // Feb 24, 2010 at 11:46 AM
dan, why don’t you start text flirting with him? See if you can resesitate your relationship by being ‘the other woman’. Some men like the fantasy.
94 Adam // Mar 1, 2010 at 3:48 AM
So my girlfriend cheated on me about two months ago. She lied about it until now and she did it again with another guy that was my friend and after all that I still love her but now just too she slept with some one else what do I do?
95 Love Guru // Mar 2, 2010 at 11:09 AM
Yo Adam. You just need to walk away from her. This is bad news for you man. She is showing signs of serial cheating and obviously has some issues with being faithful. Especially if she has done this with one of your friends. Not cool.
96 Isabel // Mar 3, 2010 at 6:27 PM
I have a boyfriend and he just cheated on me on may way to mexico.and iam very hurt rright now i dont know what to do he deserves to sufer too.and what is wrost that iam deep in him:(
97 Love Guru // Mar 4, 2010 at 11:37 AM
Isabel, time to concentrate on yourself and dedicate your time to education and hobbies. Love will find you.
98 Lauren // Mar 5, 2010 at 11:15 AM
Ok, so I’m engaged we have been together for 8 months he was in the army b4 we met and got out he came down to New Orleans for vacation where I’m from he’s from Texas and when we met we got each others number and then he kept asking me out and I kept saying no because the distance and he picked up his life and moved here to be with me so everything was great I ended up falling in love with him he said he knew I was the one for him ever since we met so now we both decided that it was best for him to join the Navy because he couldn’t keep a job, and then he asked me to marry him and I said “Yes”. Before he left i was going through his email and this girl and him were emailing each other and he said “I Love You Baby” to her and I lost it and he said someone hacked his email but now he’s doing his training for the Navy and I’m scared he’s cheating on me he left everything at home, his truck, clothes, our dog. I have everything that he owns except a suitcase with some clothes. I talked to that girl and she said they met on a online dating site and they never met but he emails her. I told her to leave him alone but what do I do?? Do I leave him or talk to him when he gets home in 35 days???
99 Love Guru // Mar 5, 2010 at 12:15 PM
Lauren – tough one here. A lot of how you handle this is dependent on what type of person you are. If you are able to fully forgive him for stupidity in what I call “e-Cheating” on a dating site then you might be able to work through this with him. If you keep on thinking that he is cheating on you every time he is away then it’ll become a self-fulfilling prophecy and the anger that you will have towards him will usually trigger him to do those type of actions. You need to build your relationship on trust. He needs to be able to trust that you won’t be digging through his personal items as well. To be honest with you if you check most of the top dating sites online you will see that there are tons of married people trolling the sites both male and female.
One thing you need to get cleared right away is to be firm but not crazy that you don’t appreciate him both lying to you and engaging into an online relationship with some person that he doesn’t even know. See what his reaction is to this conversation and then make your decision on whether you want to then forgive him and move forward or break the engagement. Good luck. Let us know how it goes.
100 Brooke // Mar 6, 2010 at 10:10 AM
ok my big sister kim shes 30 has this boyfriend and they have been dating for 1 year and she just got an e-mail saying that your boyfriend is cheating on you and i have none this for a long time sorry but i cant tell you who this is………… shes been crying for 5 hours stright help help plz plz………….:(
101 Love Guru // Mar 6, 2010 at 11:39 AM
Brooke, your sister has to find out who wrote the email. It might be a person trying to ruin your sister’s boyfriend’s life. Try and do some fact checking before going overboard.
102 Ben // Mar 16, 2010 at 3:47 AM
My girlfriend and i had been together for 8 months. We broke up 3 weeks ago but we still keep seeing each other. anyway i slept my ex gf from 4 yrs ago after a drunken night of stupidity 3 wks before i broke up with my gf then last week i found out my gf slept with her ex 1 wk before we ended it. i confronted her about it and she told me she was drunk and he was persistant and that she hated what she did then i come clean and told her about me. Anyway i thought that was it.. we would no longer have contact with each other then later that night she rang me and asked if i wanted to hangout i said yes which lead to me spending the night and sleeping with her. now im confused as we both still love each other but have lost the trust for each other. where do i go from here??
103 Love Guru // Mar 16, 2010 at 11:36 AM
Ben, looks like both of you weren’t really ready to commit and still might not be. You two should sit down and have a serious conversation about your relationship and the direction you want it to go in. If you truly want an exclusive relationship with her than let her know this and that there will be no sleeping with other people – even if you drank a bit to much.
104 Nick // Apr 6, 2010 at 6:17 PM
Hey everyone i had found out about a week ago my girlfreidn had kissed another dude be hind my back. But i really like her for who she is. A song to represent what i am thinknig is sliverstein- smile in youre sleep. look it up and you will get alot more of what is happening. I dont know what to do next i dont want to dump her but i jsut dont know if she will do it again to me or not i know its a risky move to take and i dont want to go throguh the pain all over again. We still havent settled much and i dont know what to say to her… Can some one pelase e mail me with some awsners i have had really weird emo thoughts lateley so please e mail me back. at nickpwnin@yahoo.com
105 Love Guru // Apr 7, 2010 at 11:32 AM
nick, let her know that you don’t appreciate her kissing someone else and let her know that it hurt a lot. This will help her understand your feelings towards her and should put both of you back on the same path.
106 lori // May 10, 2010 at 7:16 PM
hey i’m 36 and i went to my so called bf house and was cleaning and found a condom, but i confonted him bout it and he first denied it been there but when he got home and seen it i asked him again and he said its bullshit that it was old condom but it makes me think when i’m not with him is he cheating .i don’t know whether to believe him or not so tell me what would you do bout it . it make me cry and be upset all day it made my stomach hurt help me please!!!
107 Love Guru // May 11, 2010 at 11:29 AM
lori, that’s a tough one but as most people say – go with your gut feeling. I would be very alert to changes in his attitude and mannerisms towards you. If he becomes very short and defensive with these questions you ask him then you might want to spend more time taking care of yourself.
108 emma // May 16, 2010 at 10:55 AM
my boyfriend is 16 and he cheated on me with a 22 year old i really really love him and i dont know what to do please help me !
109 Love Guru // May 17, 2010 at 11:25 AM
You are still very young and have a lot of life to live. I would concentrate on my school work and let love come to me instead of chasing it. You will find someone who shares your views about commitment.
110 Perplexed // May 19, 2010 at 8:51 PM
I have been with my girlfriend for a bit over a year now and am living with her. I have recently found out that she slept with someone else, and was interested in, after we had started sleeping with each other but before we ‘made it official’. When asked if she had slept with anyone after we had met she said no. We seem happy now and I am sure as i can be that she hasnt cheated on me since we have been a couple. I am not sure if I should worry about it at all, just thought i could get a second opinion. My main concern is that she seemed more intrested in persueing a relationship with the other guy than me. Am i just being jelous when i shoudnt be?
111 Love Guru // Jun 15, 2010 at 11:22 AM
Since she slept with someone else before you guys made it ‘official’ then I wouldn’t worry about it. As long as your relationship now, being ‘official’, is solid and both of you are happy together than I would put the past in the past. Plus, always remember who she chose in the end – you – and not the other guy.
112 Fernando // Aug 1, 2010 at 2:44 AM
My girlfriend cheated on me. She says it was an accident and a stupid thing that should have never happen. she is my whole world and i broke down when she told me. Something like this hurts and will hurt for a long time. I really took a second and remembered all of the good times we have had and i know a lifetime of that could easily make up for what she did. i love her to death i just need help dealing with the fact. I am just in a whirl of emotion but i know leaving her would be a mistake.
113 Love Guru // Aug 20, 2010 at 12:52 PM
Frenando, Love is a two way street. It is real hard to earn that trust back and it takes a long time. If you want to giver her a second chance, try not to be overbearing, but let her know that she will need to ‘earn’ your trust back. Hopefully everything works out.
114 Love Guru // Aug 20, 2010 at 12:55 PM
confuse, you might want to step back and take some time off from this relationship. It looks like, from what you wrote, that she has been misleading you about her SMS and calling this other person. It would be good for you to focus on something else besides her and if she realy wants you she will come back.
115 Love Guru // Aug 20, 2010 at 12:57 PM
Larry, wow with friends like that who needs enemies. This economy has a lot of people out of work and that shouldn’t be a reason for someone to cheat. If you want her back and she is willing then you should take it slow. Don’t let her jump right back in because she may feel that she could cheat again with no repercussions. Take it slow and make her earn your trust again.
116 Love Guru // Aug 20, 2010 at 1:01 PM
rami, it looks like she made the decision for you – she moved on. You should do the same – move on and start concentrating on other aspects of your life. Having a significant other is only a small part of your life and you need to start exploring the other parts of your life that need more attention. The important thing is to not mope around and look depressed when you are around others. If you have an upbeat aura to you then other people will see that and want to be around you.
117 bogdan popa // Aug 23, 2010 at 2:52 PM
I have no sleep for 2 days,no food for 2 days, I found her in my boss bathroom with him while I run to my house to grab some beer but i’m not 100% they where doing something there but the door it was look so i guess thats pretty bad, just hope to be strong enough to pass this hard time in my life. Ya know some ppl say be strong love its blind and hurts a lot ,I wish to be just like that but right now its just killing me and how can be strong when you dont have her the person who woke up next to ya every morning and told you how much she love you and she always be there for you, for the good and bad times. remember when i was laying in the bed with you and i told ya how scared i’m to dont lose you because the world will just drop on me and i cant live without you and you swear to me that would never happened because you love me so much and you want just to trust you and believe in you and that what i do,and i starting give to you everything i give to you all my love more that anybody can give,i just stop thinking about me your the only one who matter i dont even look at a girl just to make you happy and can see that smile who make me happy every second, ,i just cant believe you did all this stuff to me even if you know how much you mean for me. Just think how many ppl was so happy for us and how many ppl you make cryin for your cuple minutes of stupidity,but it maybe worth for you…now all what i have left its your smell and the thoughts who still killing me. Even if a lots of ppl tell me your not good enough for me or your not serious enough i never listen because i love you and i believe in you as i promise you.
I know its sound like a sad sorry,but in this time i was the most happiest person in the world,even if right now im fucked up i just think i might just cant be happy maybe thats what god want…i’m sorry for you guys and girl who go trough this stuff and i’m sorry for you guys who have to read this message. I what to say how sorry i’m because i stop talking and hang with my friends who really care about me thanks alot guys real friends will be forever with you… this is my story my friends and i really apreciate some advice if you guys can give me some…thanks a lot everybody
118 bogdan popa // Aug 23, 2010 at 2:57 PM
PS
She call me 1000 of time and i answer finally and she was crying very hard for like 2 hours and tell me she didn’t do anything with him. We were very drunk and she was very very drunk too, but i still dont understand what they can do in the bathroom with the door look. i love her so much and i really cant live without her but that feeling bothers me alot,please help me with some advices. thanks a lot
119 Anthony // Sep 13, 2010 at 7:37 PM
My girlfriend of four months cheated on me two weeks ago, she has not admitted to doing it, but I know for sure she did. I found pictures online, taken by her best friend, of her kissing this guy she had told me that she no longer talks to. I am heartbroken and I am not sure what to do right now, I am deeply in love with her and she says the same back to me. I know I need to sit and talk with her about this, but I don’t know how to address her infidelity. I had asked her if she has been entirely faithful during the whole time we’ve been together, she said yes. But the pictures I have seen shows otherwise. I love her so much and it kills me that she would do such a thing because she tells me I am the perfect guy and the best boyfriend I have ever had, I have no idea how or why this happened. So far, I have not confronted her about it because I can never find a time to have a serious conversation with her, I feel like she has been trying to avoid a serious conversation with me because we’ll agree to talk but later on she’ll cancel on me. I know that by addressing this, that things will change and they will never be the same. I need to know what to do and what to say to her. Please help!
120 Sleepless nights // Sep 28, 2010 at 10:57 AM
Hello. I have been in a relationship for close to 2 years. I meet her at a boarding school for teenagers with mental illnesses. Both myself and my former girlfriend are both diagnosed with manic depression and anxiety. In a way it helped our relationship because we could relate to what each other are feeling. She has been mentally unwell and in and out of hospital since I meet her. I have had to stop her from self harming and I’ve been in an ambulance with her when she overdosed.but I love her dearly. We both lost our virginity to each other and she is the only girl I’ve ever loved. It has been hard because it’s a long distance relationship and she lives about 3 hours from me. When we went to boarding school together she mucked around with the other girls but I was able to forgive that. Recently I didn’t hear from her for 2 weeks until she finally told me that she had sex with another guy. She said she was mentally unwell and regretted it.
I love her so so much. When she’s not depressed she has the most bubbly personality. But when She told me she had sex with Someone else. After all Id done for her. Always being there for her whenever I could. Being next to her in hospital all those times. Most of the relationship last year I stayed with her in fear that she would end her life
if I left her. But this year she has been mentally better and has stopped self harming. And the relationships been better. It’s still been hard because of the long distance. But it was worth it. Until I found out she cheated. I was shocked. I decided to leave her. It’s been a week since and I havnt slept at all. I don’t know if I made the right decision. Was it her fault? Did she cheat on me or did her illness? I don’t know who to blame. I’m just scared I could never be intimate with her again knowing she had sex with another guy she barely knew.
Your response could change my life. I don’t know weather to take her back or not. I just need help. I do really love her…I just don’t know what to do.
121 Rhionna // Sep 28, 2010 at 7:47 PM
My boyfriend keeps cheating on me and I dont know what to do cuz I love him so much tht I cant leave him:( Plzz message me:(
-Rhionna
122 rocky in mess // Oct 3, 2010 at 2:19 PM
i am in long distance relationship with my fiancee my age is 25 and her 18.but last week she messed round with a guy who lives near by they were carrying an frndship from last 6 month and they used to talk lot. she confessed me at same day when she messed with that guy.but now i am carrying a broken heart i still love her n cares for her
and she is feeling sorry n feeling guilty and telling me that she will never do it again but today itz very hard to belive her i am in deepresssion now i am confused that she love me or not and plz tell me how i can find her that she will be faithfull to me…wht to do…we had planned to marry after 2 years…plz help me
123 Malachi // Nov 1, 2010 at 1:38 PM
Well theres this girl that i really love and i broke up with her because she called me a horrible boyfriend and she hated me. So she thinks that our realationship that we had was a joke how do i prove to her that it wasnt…
124 Nyambe // Nov 12, 2010 at 3:50 AM
My wife to be cheated on me with the guy I know, my lady had sex with the same guy over 6 times. I need your advice
125 Zac of Clyde // Nov 15, 2010 at 7:38 PM
my girl friend cheated on me with a much older guy she let him go all the way.but me and her are back to talking i hope she does not go back to him. and thats all i can do is hope
126 shaan // Nov 18, 2010 at 10:47 AM
my gf cheated me n started loving my best frnd i feeeelllllll so bad what to do
127 Ellena // Dec 31, 2010 at 10:53 AM
I’ve been with my boyfriend just over a year and he just admitted to me that in the first two months he kissed seven girls and just basically acted like he was single. I feel like I don’t want to give up on what we have because he said he changed from then. But how do I know there’s not more and that he wont do it again?
128 Jason // Jan 3, 2011 at 11:52 PM
I just found out that my girlfriend cheated on me 4 months ago by having a threesome with her friend and her boyfriend. And we had only been dating for a month. She went on to tell me that no guy has ever treated her the way I do and how much in love she is with me. She further explained that alcohol was involved and that it’s been eating her up every single day ever since. I sincerely believe that she would never cheat on me again, but I don’t know what to do? I am / was in love with this girl and she knows the repercussions this potentially could have on our relationship by telling me, but she still did. Better late than never, or say good bye for ever?
129 Evelyn // Jan 4, 2011 at 2:40 PM
i just found out that my boyfriend has slept with is ex who he has a child with. i recently told her that he doesn’t love her anymore and he loves me, our relationship is long distance. thing is i don’t feel angry at him at all but i can’t get the fact he did it of my mind. what do i do?!?!?!?!
130 D. MacK // Jan 4, 2011 at 4:13 PM
My girlfriend was with her friend and a guy called her and asked if he cood come over so he cood be with her friend.. she agreed. after awhile she said she was goin to bed and he follwed her… he thn took his pants off and told her to give him oral. she refused then he got a little agressive and was pushing her head down slightly… she said he wood not stop so she did it eventually for about 5 mins. she said she scraped him a few times and didnt go deep… she told me later and said she was deeply sorry and she regreted every minute of it…. we have been goin out for a really long time and i love her to death but idk wht to do?
131 danie // Jan 4, 2011 at 9:29 PM
okay my boyfriend of over a year and 3months just told me that a while ago when we were fighting he talked”dirty” with this girl and got a pic from her. he keeps beating himself up about it and i hate it, but i just feel that i wasnt enough for him and thats why he turned to her, he says he loves me and it was just a huge mistake. i lovehim somuch and i dont want to let him go but i dont know what to do!! can any one help me!?
132 Rajkumar // Jan 9, 2011 at 1:36 AM
for more than two years my girl friend giving plenty of money to one guy, i think he blackmails her. suddenly one day i saw her bank statement that she gave 1 lacks Indian rupees by getting loan from bank. I have just heard my girl was dating another guy from my workplace before i loved her but the guy has transferred and I don’t know what to do. now she denies me and she loves another guy in my office. i was planned to commit suicide and i have bought poison also. but before i die i need to know why she giving lot of money to that previous lover, what evidence he have. she break up with me for asking this to her.
on feb11 her birthday that day im going to die surely. help me what to do, i cant live without her. in front of me she lives with another guy.
133 Keanu // Jan 9, 2011 at 4:11 PM
My girl friend cheated on me with 3 other guys! I feel hurt and I dont know what to do? Last year she was so nice when i meet her but now i feel like i know nothing. She still likes me and i like her but i feel like she is a slut and I cant trust her anymore. What do I do? She promised that their would be no lies and no cheating and she just broke that promise. I feel like I should kill myself or i should have never been born. If god realy loved us all then why did he do this to us.
134 Evan // Jan 18, 2011 at 6:57 PM
Me an my girlfriend have a long history. We met freshman year in high school and became bet friends and told each other everything. We were the same person basically. I liked her, but I had a girlfriend who I had been with for over a year and she had a boyfriend. I broke up with my girlfriend before school ended and eventually her and her boyfriend broke up. And right away we started spending time with each other, and doing stuff with each other. We didn’t become official until several months later, and we were the happiest people ever, even her mother said she thought she was in love. After 5 months of being together she went on a cruise. She cheated on me with some guy she just met two days in a row and it was over new years. The first time I saw her afte she got home was the first day back at school from vacation, and she was crying. I went over her house later that day an I could tell she did something, so when the truth came I was heart broken and so was she. She told me the reason sh was heart broken was because sh couldn’t believe she but me like this. We spent a long time talking about it and it has been two weeks since and were still together. I’m in love with her and she means everything to me, but I don’t know if I should still be with her.
135 slient // Jan 19, 2011 at 8:45 PM
hi im 25 and i’m in a relationship with a girl that i love so much and a future wife to be but a month ago she went to a party and had couple of drinks and someone put something in her drink then next morning she was in someone else’s bed she told me she felt she was raped by her ex and then she told me that she was pregrant with the ex she wants to be with me still and is afraid if she keeps the child then i would leave but i told her i forgive her but i got to a point that i told her no parties no guys no drinking due to the incident and i was going thou a tough time with my aunt having cancer and im thinking of breaking up with her because it happen to me the second time same seneraio 5 yrs ago with my ex and my grandma was sick and she passed away and i went away to see her and she slept with 5 guys but i dnt know what to do should i leave or give it a another chance?
136 Hugo // Jan 20, 2011 at 2:21 PM
I’m only 15, but I was in a relationship with this girl. It wasn’t official, but we acted as if we were together. and i went on holiday for a week and when i came back i found out she’d had sex with another guy. i was absolutely gutted and i dont know what to do.
137 charl // Jan 20, 2011 at 5:35 PM
hi, my girl cheated on me after 8 months on new years when i was on vacation, she hooked up with a guy at a party while she was drunk, but to me thats no good explanation and she called me and told me about it, when i heard that it felt like my heart got torn into pieces! She kept on saying shes sorry and regrets what she has done and cries about it. Were stil together and i try not to think about it but it’s impossible! I don’t trust her anymore and i have lost alot of respect for her. The best thing is she still has contact with the guy, I don’t know if i should continue with this relationship but i love her too much, i keep thinking she wil do it again an maybe go futher next time. . .what should i do?
138 SHAE // Jan 20, 2011 at 10:37 PM
SO MY BF CURRENTLY CHEATING ON ME AND WE HAVE A SON TOGETHER AND ONE ON THE WAY AND HURTS SO BAD CUZ I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I DONT HAVE THE BACK BONE TO CALL IT OFF THATS HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS DUDE I FEEL LIKE HE IS MY LIFE IM 23 YRS OLD AND IM STUCK IN THIS FUCKED UP SITUATIONI HATE HIM FOR THIS AND HOW I FOUND OUT WAS THE GIRL HE CHAETED WITH TOLD ME AND HE SAYS ITS NOT TRUE BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE I KNOW ITS TRUE SHE EVEN TOLD ME THEY HAD SEX IN HIS CAR IM SO HURT BY THIS SHIT CANT TRUST NOTHING THAT HE SAY I KEEP TELLING HIM I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY I DONT EVER ASK FOR ANYTHING ELSE I SWEAR JUST TO BE HAPPY AND BY BEING HAPPY THAT MEANS JUST ONE PERSON BEING WITH ME AND HIM I FEEL LIKE I CAN GO OFF THE DEEP END AT ANY MOMENT THIS HURTS SO BAD SO TO ALL YOU GUYS IF THERE IS SOME ONE SPECIAL IN UR LIFE DONT DO HER WRONG BECAUSE IT HURTS REALLY REALLY BAD
139 bonii // Jan 21, 2011 at 9:06 PM
hi i’m louis and i’ve been hurt by my girlfriend
i got played by her when i was with her she was texting some other guy sending pictures of herself and that guy did the same thing .
i never did nothing to hurt her and she did that.
she went to sleep at her friends house and she told me before she went that she was going shopping with her but soon that night she kissed her friends brother and she even let him hold her .i dont really know what went on after that but thats what she told me in the morning when she came back .she just told me right out of no where.the same thing i didnt do nothing to hurt her .
so please someone tell me what i should do
because i dont know what to do i cant even trust her anymore and it doesnt feel the same way anymore.
so please dont be shy and help me
i need help from anyone.
thanks
140 Efren // Mar 29, 2011 at 11:39 PM
How hows it going. Im 17 and I just found out that my girlfriend cheated on me with another man. I am 100% positive that this happened because I found a message on facebook between her and the guy. The messgae shows that she asked him out, she made out with him, and gave him a bj while we were together. The date on the message is 3/12/11, today is 3/29/11. She told me that she has been hurt before, that all her ex’s cheated on her with their ex and she said she didnt want to get hurt again. Since we have been together I have done nothing to get her mad, nothing to make her sad, and nothing at all, i always told her i loved her and she said that she would never hurt me and that she loved me. But she has hurt me very bad and I dont know what to do about it. If you can help me it would be very helpful. Thank you.
141 diju // Mar 31, 2011 at 12:46 PM
My girlfriend cheat me but still I love her. I know that I can’t get her anymore but still I weighting for her
142 Matt // Apr 3, 2011 at 12:00 PM
I’ve been having trouble dealing with my girlfriend’s past. She hasn’t been in a relationship since she broke up with her ex from high school several years ago but she’s continued to basically let him have sex with her because she was still in love with him but she is certain now that what has happened to her qualifies as sexual abuse. I knew her for more than a year before we started dating and when we did finally start dating we never really had a conversation about rules. However, we know each other very well and certain basic things were assumed. A day after the first time we kissed she went home for the weekend and went over to this ex-boyfriend’s house because she thought nothing would happen and she’d be able to resist finally after all of these years. They got high and somehow they ended up having sex for only a few seconds before she pushed him off and left to go home. She never told me about it. I had to ask, yell, plead even for her to be honest with me and I onl started to suspect because I was feeling low down and remembered that weekend off-handedly. She said she was planning on telling me and I know we weren’t really together then and it sounds petty to say but a few seconds may be a little harsh to feel so angry and betrayed but I can’t help how I feel and I won’t apologize for it. She and I have talked extensively and are on a break starting today. I used to tell her I love her every day and when we talked I told her I still do. Knowing about her past is bad enough to handle but I don’t know if I can ever forgive and forget because she was flat out stupid and careless with my feelings when we were friends and even when things finally work out with the girl of my dreams she lets this happen. This is such a grey area. I don’t know how to approach this because of her history of abuse and I feel like maybe she doesn’t understand what sex means to me and then we’re not on the same page which is a problem. I do know that this would never happen again because this guy has tried to make moves on her again, even in my presence and she’s said no and she and I have talked very seriously about marriage. I need to figure out how I really feel. What in the world is going on?
143 hurting in life // Apr 4, 2011 at 8:47 PM
my fiancée cheated on me after 2 years of being together we have a daughter together and i found out that she cheated on me with my brother, she wasn’t going to tell me my brother told me like 2 weeks after and said oh don’t be mad we still love you. so what do i do now?
144 confuseed // Apr 5, 2011 at 5:59 PM
also my boyfriend lied to me and broke up with me and he told me he didnt want to hurt me and i found out from the girl. he is a huge liar. and has been charged with domestic battery from hitting me and his family hates me cuz im mean to him but i have a reason after all that he did
145 Love Guru // Apr 21, 2011 at 10:26 AM
Look like the writing is on the wall – ‘this isnt the first time he left me for 2 girls b4 and made out with both of them and kissed his ex’. Seems like this guy is not ready to commit and if that is what you want to do then I would start looking else where. Spend time concentrating on work or school and you will soon see that there are more things important than trying to please someone else.
146 Love Guru // Apr 21, 2011 at 10:27 AM
Time to move on!!!
147 Love Guru // Apr 21, 2011 at 10:31 AM
This is a tough one since you have a child together and it involves other family members. First off your brother should have know better and it is awful that he would betray your trust – like your fiancee. As hard as it might be I’d try and get them all together and talk this over. You need to find out if your fiancee is truly wanting to be with you and raise your daughter together. Remember that children should be brought up in a healthy environment.
148 confuseed // Apr 23, 2011 at 8:22 PM
so i wrote saying on april 5, 2011 that my b4 did all that and i said either change for me or im done cuz i dont wanna go through all this many times one way enough. and he said ohh ill change and then over the weeks he has shoen it and i hung out with him and he proposed to me which was what i wanted from him and the moment i said yes cuz i was soo happy and everything but idk if its the right choice im 17 and so is he but how do i know he will keep changing for me? i jus want someone to tel me what to do.. i have making decisions..and i love him with everything but i jus member all the stuff he has done and i cry and hate him so much. and normally him and i would fight everyday and we havent fought for a couple of weeks. is this jus a temporary thing? or r guys capable of changing for good?.. help me please
149 confuseed // Apr 23, 2011 at 8:26 PM
i just don’t understand how you can give everything to a person and they can just cheat and lie to your face.. why cant i get a nice loving commited boyfriend.. someone help me find a guy..i hate being alone..
150 C.J. // May 28, 2011 at 8:15 AM
hi, i have been with my girlfriend for 2 years. we had an unhealthy realtionship and she was always mad at me. One night i picked her up to hang out and she was screaming at me. So she told me to drop her off at her house where a party was going on. Later on she told me that she had sex witth someone on my football team.
. I am broken. I don’t know what to do cuz I love her but I feel like the firl I love is turning into a hoe, and I dont know what to do cuz I love her, but she ruined me and all my plans that I wanted with her. 
Please help
151 Jocelyne // Jun 3, 2011 at 12:07 PM
I’m 15 years old, and I know that’s pretty young to be in love. But I am. I don’t know, maybe I think I am. Everyone tells me that 15 is so young, that I don’t even know what love is. I’m not sure I believe them. I’m bisexual, and I’ve been going out with a girl I met in school earlier this year, named Sam. We put six months into our relationship, but not without fights scattered here and there. She has always been jealous that I liked this other guy, even though I didn’t, and I told her that I would never want anyone but her. I was fully aware that she had a crush on this other girl, and I hated how she was always talking about her, and choosing to spend time with her instead of me. They would sleep over each others houses all the time, and that really made me mad, because its not that I didn’t trust Sam, it’s that I didn’t trust the other girl. Three days ago, Sam broke up with me, saying that even though she loves me, she’s not happy, and she thinks I put no effort into the relationship, and that we’re not going anywhere. This upset me, but I honestly kind of saw it coming. With all the time she was spending with Amelia, the girl that she likes, I just saw no hope left for the relationship, and I knew it wasn’t going to work out. Today, I found out from someone at my school that Sam had kissed Amelia while she and I were dating, about a month ago, and she didn’t tell me. Something similar to this has happened before, too, about four months into our relationship, she had kissed this girl Gaby, ans she told me about it, and apologized. We talked it out, and everything was okay. But now I find out about Amelia, a month later after we’ve already broken up. I still love her with all my heart, but I know can’t trust her anymore.
152 Unknown // Jun 6, 2011 at 6:49 AM
Cheating doesn’t make sense. My girlfriend of 7 months deccided to makeout with her ex yet she insists she wants to be with me and has no feelings for him at all.
153 samantha // Jun 7, 2011 at 6:50 AM
im 17 years old, and im falling in love with the guy im dating, there has been 3 girls that have wrote me on facebook and said he is cheating on me since day one. i had asked him about it and everytime i ask about it he says he dont know them, or never talked to them. im madly in love with him and dont wanna loss him, please help me!!!
154 Very Hurt // Jun 26, 2011 at 4:34 PM
hi i found out today by going on my girlfriends facebook that shes been seeing 2 guys behind my back and im so angry and hurt im scared im gonna do something bad, i cant talk to her coz shes on holiday and she works with these 2 guys and i dont know what to do i feel like a piece of me has died. plz help me.
155 Robby // Jul 1, 2011 at 9:13 AM
My girlfriend went to go hang out with a friend from school alone just her and him. She assured me that I had nothing to worry about and if he tried anything she wouldn’t let it happen. A couple days later I find out she slept with him. She says that it meant nothing and that she was forced into it. She says that she wished it never happened. But to be honest I can’t look at her the same and everytime I touch her I think of him. She wants to still be together and I still love her. It just hurts. A lot.I’m not sure what I should do. Ideas?
156 carry // Jul 4, 2011 at 12:27 PM
my girl fren cheat on mi two months n she didnt tell mi untill two months after she fuck the boy two time and shes beggin me to forgiver her whst should i do i need help.
157 terribly depressed // Jul 7, 2011 at 8:10 AM
well its a long story… my gf of 9 years cheated on me 2 months ago and i just found out from the guy last night, i proposed to her and all and she accepted but when i talked to him he told me everything that they did and im sooo hurt, we did a 3 way phone call and he asked her if she was with me and she said no (which is a lie) and when we confronted her she got quiet and I called her and she admitted but only because she got caught, the guy said he is done with her (which was a 12 hr drive for her to go see him) and she said that she wont do it to me again but i obvously still love her but I dont know If I can trust her ever again, she said we wernt together at the time but I dont recall us splitting up so she did cheat on me, the guy appologized to me because he knew about me but she had told him lies to get him to hate me and believe her he did not know that we where still together, im glad he manned up and told me but now im torn up very bad and I dont know if i can believe her or trust her ever again, to make matters worst she said she had a miscarriage and it was his because they didnt use protection every time they did stuff for that week and he told me that she had planned on giving him the ipod i gave her and was paying his cell phone bill and paid for the motel where he was at and was plan on having a threesome with him with a friend of hers and was planning on maybe seeing him on his bday in aug (although i doubt thats going to happen now seeing how he knows and I know) but yea, im torn up and I am 25 years old and she is 24 and she is my one and only sex partner and up untill now i thought it was the same so i feel like we had something special but when i think about it im sick to my stomach, i called in work today because i did not get any sleep last night i need immediate help i deff plan on asking for my 1,000 dollar ring back but I dont know whether to end the relationship or make things work, she was playing us both and I neve expected this from her ever but I noticed she started being sneaky which made me aware, we are going through a rough time and moved seperate and then going to counceling to try to make things work and then she does this to me a week or 2 after she moved out… but she told him last night and i heard her that we wernt together then we busted her, so Im not sure on if she can be trusted or not or what to do, plz plz plz plz help :’( i feel like im not worth anything and very depressed even while im on antidepressants
158 Joy // Jul 16, 2011 at 10:27 PM
Hi,
We were madly in love and made lots of promises, she got in the best MBA college and was studying there for 2 yrs and we have long distance relation, i was working in another city but we used to talk regularly, i used to send her gifts, wait for her call as she was busy studying all night, helped her, never said no for anything. We planned to loose our virginity on a special day with the best planned romantic night on our wedding night. It was my 1st & best relationship. then suddenly she started behaving strangely, less call less ‘i love u’ words etc. after she got a offer from the biggest firm in the country, she went for a trip with friends, she didnt had money, so i helped her with that, while she was on trip she asked me to check her mails and gave me her password, i was shocked to see that she has been in a relation with another guy of her college for more than a year and I found everything through her sex chat and mails.
That night was the longest night for me. I didnt sleep , after 2 months i again hacked in and found out that she was sleeping and doing all nasty stuff. I am Mad now and sleep and concentrate on my work. I thought that time will heal it but No, its increasing day by day, and now I want to kill both of them. I cant see them togather now. I hate guys n girls, I hate sex and i cant trust anyone now.
How can a person love you and break your trust and sleep with another guy.
Joy
159 Charlie // Jul 19, 2011 at 1:48 AM
So i just found out that my girlfriend kisse abother guy but it wasnt really her fault.. The other guy kissed her first and she just stood there letting him continue to kiss you. I want to give her a secod chance but i dont know of i can trust her again.. What should i do? Give her a second chance or break up with her..
-Charlie
160 marty vaughan // Jul 21, 2011 at 8:41 PM
hi there, um my girl, the girl of my dreams, dating for 3 years and have never had a problem ever, always happy with eachother cheated on me 6 nights ago. it was pretty much the first guy i trusted fully to go out with her and not try somthing on so i was not worring as she said by see you later and went out the door that night, this guy has a ph.d in the degree shes studing and they went out for a drink to talk about work and getting a position for her. she called me crying the next day and told me what happened, no intercourse, but oral sex happened. she tells me that she got mixed up with mental and physical attraction and they were both blind drunk. the most gutting part is that she’s the one who wanted it. she got in his taxi at the end of the night after she told me she doesnt need a ride home anymore and had a mate who would drop her off . (head full of alcahol doesnt help) it happened sat night and on sunday she told me when she got home. the worst thing is that i cant just go over to this guys house and pull him to pieces because hes not the one to blame. she made the moves. i took a day to think about the situation, and as i love her with all my heart and knew she was sorry, i decided to give her a get out of jail free card and told her i just want her back in my arms. people make mistakes after all. thats when the worst thing happened. after all that thinking , getting over it with all those emotions, she decided to dump me as soon as i said i want her back and that she doesnt no if she loves me as much as she thought she did before she did it. she says she doesnt no herself at the moment and that she needs to go to church. she told me to give her time , but all i want is my baby back , ive forgiven her and cant stop thinking about her. i keep texting her telling her that its ok and that i love her but its just making it worse, pushing her away, but i cant stand not doing anything, she means evrything to me. i just want her back. i know she loves me but she doesnt. its now friday and ive slept a total of ten hours since sat night, with work all this week. , 8 hour movies going through my head in vivid detail of her sucking this guys c**k all night. i cant get to sleep and cry more than i dont cry during the day. i just needed to tell people who know how im feeling about this, im scared at what i might do to myself.
i dont want the other fish in the sea, i just want us back, its the happiest feeling ive ever felt when we were together and now im hollow. i could literally feel a big chunk of my heart missing. i cant forget about it.
161 michael // Jul 23, 2011 at 6:06 AM
So I’ve read a few of these and they all sound pretty bad but I think my situation takes the trophy (that trophy nobody wants).
I had been dating a girl for the last three years of high school. We had both been through so much together and I really thought that nothing could tear us apart or cloud our relationship. We were on the first day of a weeklong trip with my family when she told me that this guy I knew she
162 Anonymous // Aug 2, 2011 at 7:00 PM
ok i have been with my girlfriend for 7 months now. After a few months she is at a Uni/college party, while im at work. i call her after and she is drunk and tells me she didnt somthing i might not be too happy about. she gave a guy a topless lap-dance and did a nudy run with a few other people as it was a point system and she earned her team points by doing it. she asked me to travles to see her (the uni is about 2 hours away), it was already 11pm, i had work the next day and i didnt want to see her after that so i told her and she got angry at me. After waiting 30 mins at home i couldnt sleep so i drove all the way up there and found her passed out naked in her room under the covers with the door unlocked. i asked a few of her dorm mates and they told me they saw some guys coming out of her room, i still dont know what happend that night. she said she cant remember any guys coming in her room, i managed to forgive her for that night and move on
a few months later she starts bringing up her recent ex-boyfriend alot (once or twice a day). just talking about experiences they have had together (not sexual). i was uncomfortable about hearing it that often, it made me feel like she was still in love with him and i was just a fill in to make her feel better. i told her and she said she loves me and could never go back to him becasue he cheated on her. One night i finished work early, i called her as we organized for a night in watching movies cos she was depressed. she was at her ex-boyfriends house trying to get drunk and apparently he kissed her. i almost broke up with her because of this but i still loved her and knew if i did break up at that point i would regret it. After that she doesnt talk to/about him as much now and i trust her on that.
After these two events i lost alot of trust for her. Then i find out a month ago she cheated on me at a party we went together. to start off with she kissed a friend who is gay agaisnt his will because she was drunk and thought it would be funny. i was drinking also, i got upset with her and went to my car to sleep because i felt hurt. she came and found me in the car and put me in a sleeping bag inside the house. then she went to talk with the guy that helped her move me inside. they went to his car and somehow had sex for a few minutes then she said she stopped. i didnt not find it out until 4 weeks after the party, she came clean. i love her so much, i dont want to break up with her and i know she loves me and wants to be with me. i just dont think i can trust her ever again. i havn’t broke up with her yet because i cant do it and i dont want to do it. somtimes i feel like i should, its haunting me everyday.
Everytime im with her i feel so happy, as soon as im alone my mind brings up a visual of what happend and how she brang herself to do that to me. i know the logical answer seems to be to break up with her. she has a history of 3 exboyfriends and about a 6 month gap in her life where she slept with alot of random guys to make her feel better because she came out of a bad relationship. i dont want to see her go down that light again as i still care for her so much. would appreciate some advice
163 Luke // Aug 2, 2011 at 7:24 PM
Hey guys and gals, yeah i found out from my girlfriends cousin and friend that she sextin another guy, i need answers on what to do asap
164 john // Aug 10, 2011 at 8:59 AM
my girlfirend cheated on me with an ex boyfriend. i wanna kill him. i was with her for 2 years then one night i called her and called her she didnt pick up phone she was at his house. so in the end i just want to kill him so it wont happen again.
165 Ben // Aug 12, 2011 at 8:49 AM
I found out my girlfriend cheated on me she said it was because the guy was high and would of hurt her if she didn’t! She kissed him and gave him head! Because of this I dont know if I can ever kiss her again know someone else junk what there! To make things worse throughout our relationship she has told me she doesnt want to do anything sexual but now I find out she did with another guy! What do I do! I would love some help! I still love her but I don’t know if she still loves me!
166 John Power // Oct 28, 2011 at 7:28 PM
My gf and I were dating for 2 and a half years, since halfway through grade 9. She’s had a couple of times where she’s been really close to cheating on me with some other guy but hasn’t. This summer we were apart and she went on a 2 week trip and within the first week found a guy, and slept with him multiple times. Then, when she returned she slept with another guy. I don’t know what to do. We’re almost about to break up right now. I think this is the right thing to do, but I don’t know. She was my first kiss, first for everything and I love her. But things are never gonna be the same, and I know I won’t be able to forgive her for that. Especially since throughout the summer there was multiple chances for me to cheat, but I didn’t because of her. Turns out she didn’t.
167 Love Guru // Oct 29, 2011 at 8:12 AM
John – My best advice to you is to break up with her and let her learn a lesson now. She will think this is acceptable relationship behavior if you don’t. You might love her today but have so many options at your age right now that by pushing her away and not being angry it’ll probably in the end make her want you back more. If you take her back you’ll need to fully forgive her for what she did while you were apart of the relationship will never work.
168 Erika // Nov 12, 2011 at 9:51 PM
Well I found out my boyfriend of almost 4 years was cheating on me. The girl he was cheating with was the one to hint out to me something was going on and told me to ask him why she was so concerned about him and me. I found out he had started liking this girl a month before and had taken her out on a date. He said he didn’t know how to tell me which is why he hadn’t said anything about breaking up. Then I found out that one night he had gotten drunk and his friend and him went to her house. She was drunk too and my bf and her ended up having sex without a condom. We’re both 19 and he is now expecting a child from her. He hadn’t even remembered what he did that night before his friend told him the next day. His friend now regrets not saying anything to my bf in order to stop him from having sex. My bf said he was sorry and wanted nothing but to be together. He just couldn’t stand being with me if my parents were always going to be so judgmental (he was right on that. They were constantly telling him what to and criticizing him on how he acted. I constantly had to tell him my parents didn’t like that he was too quiet and stuff. He made the effort to meet their standards, and when he did, they would then say he wasn’t doing something else right). But the fact that that whole month he didn’t say anything is killing me. And the problem is that I can’t get over him. I still want to be with him! He regrets all that he did and hates himself for it (he even talked about suicide because he hated how much he hurt me), but he also doesn’t want to abandon his baby. He is keeping in contact with the mother only because he still wants to be a part of his child’s life (she had threatened to keep the child away from him so he had to act all nice to her so she’d allow him to see the child). She’s probably 4 weeks pregnant and I’ve been old by others that miscarriages can happen soon. I don’t want to sound horrible when I say I hope this child doesn’t come out but i can’t help it. I have no hatred towards this baby but I just don’t want it coming out now. I’d give my bf a second chance if there was no baby, but since there is he’s untouchable to me. I want to be with him so badly and he wants to be with me but the baby is a huge reality check on what’s happening. Help!
169 Love Guru // Nov 28, 2011 at 7:16 PM
Well Erika, this one is a pretty complicated relationship. I have mixed feelings but think that you should try to distance yourself a little while you see how he is going to react to the other girls decision to have his baby. The truth of the situation is that if they have the baby in 7 mos. that you will always have to deal with this situation and have interactions with her since that is 1/2 his child. He has no excuse at all for being drunk and not knowing what he was doing. If he had been on a date with her before then he definitely had interest in her and was attracted to her physically. If I was you, I would tell him that you want some space for him to be able to sort out his situation he put himself in and you should start dating other people even in a casual sense. Go out and hang out with your friends and other guys to see if you can get your mind off of him and if you are able to connect to someone else then you should pursue that path instead of being caught in the middle of this potential mess. Your parents sometimes have a sixth sense even if you don’t want to accept that.
Leave a Comment