Knowing if or when to move in with your significant other can be a hard decision to make. There are various opinions on this issue…some say its necessary to get to know one another and others say to wait ‘till marriage. My advice is to take the following points into consideration and weigh the pros and cons. As much as your grandmother has to say about the topic, when it comes down to it, the decision has to be made by you and your partner.
- Have you ever lived with a member of the opposite sex before?
Living together could be totally shocking if you have never lived with a member of the opposite sex before!
- Are you willing to make some adjustments?
As with all roommates, it is important to be flexible.
- Do you have problems in your relationship you think would be fixed by living together?
If you think living together will bring you closer, you are right…it will amplify every aspect of your relationship…the good, the bad, as well as the ugly.
- Have you had thoughts of marrying this person?
If you can honestly say you have considered spending the rest of your life with this person, it could be a really good sign you two are ready to cohabitate.
- Are you thinking about living together solely for economic reasons?
It may be cheaper to live together, but is that worth giving up most of your personal space?
- Do you two having schedules that would conflict or flow easily?
Cross check your schedules…sharing a bathroom at 7 am while trying to get ready for work is not quite part of the Cinderella story, now is it?
- Do either of you have children?
Ok, this is a BIG ONE. I’ll say it again…BIG ONE…proceed with caution if either on of you have kids. Children are very impressionable and need to feel secure in their environment. Think extra hard before merging family households before marriage/life partnership…whatever.
- Have you ever lived on your own?
If you find yourself wanting to move in with your boyfriend/girlfriend because you are afraid to live on your own…hold off. It is important to feel confident in your ability to support yourself or you may find yourself in a relationship for the wrong reason.
- Who is going to cook, clean, do the laundry, and the dishes?
The correct response is…BOTH of you! Just be sure to talk about this before it becomes an issue.
So there you go, take the time and mull over these questions together. By taking the above into consideration, you can get closer to making the right decision about when to live together. Good luck and happy shacking.
By A. Lansing